salt and pepper

baby, hear me cry.

2010-08-10T18:00:00.000+08:00

I watched my niece run for the torch relay, and I felt this sudden emotion, emerging from deep within. I felt proud, and mostly honoured to be her aunt.

I took the video, running with her and it suddenly hit me, that she's grown so fast and I was there. I was there to watch her grow, to be with her during one of her glorious moment in life.

She used to be a littlest thing, and now she's grown.

My sister and I talked about it after the whole thing. She felt the same overwhelming feeling as well, and being her, she already wanted to cry.

Thus the not so good pics.

No surprise there.

I want that iphone!:(

nightmares.

2010-07-30T02:47:00.000+08:00

I am working. Retail, like wth, I'm supposed to be in the bank or something. And I am not good at selling things. Not really good la. The only reason why I took this job is coz it's in the airport.

At the duty-free area, yippie yeay!

But, Damn, the work is really, really, tough. I have to stand for hours. HOURS long. 9 freaking hours long. Straight, just an hour break. DAMNNNN.

But the perks, it is for luxury products. Yes, those which would cost me a good month's pay for just a bag. With discount.

But then, staffs get discount also, so it's pretty okay la. Just that I cannot sit for 9 hours je. And yesterday was my first day, and I had to wear heels. At least 2 inches.

Try that for 5 hours, the rest 4 hours would be hellllllll. No, seriously. I have blisters all over, I can't even walk. Now imagine walking with blisters and forced to smile to the potential customers who come in and look at the price and say goodbye.

How excruciating.

My feet are seriously in pain, so much so that my hands and fingers are infected. I need to stop writing, my spelling has gone off everywhere.

I dreamt about results last night.

I DAMN SCARED OKAY IT WAS A NIGHTMARE I WANT TO JUST DIE WHEN I GOT IT OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

dislike period.

2010-07-24T15:56:00.000+08:00

I changed my layout and blog AGAIN. Like as if I have nothing better to do. That's true though, there's nothing better to do. Don't get me started on the job that I got. I got by accident and I am not excited-at all.

Normally, I'll be sooooo excited, but not this time. I don't know. I guess I'm not psyched about it. What has been occupying my mind, though, is the results coming out in less than a month. Already, my friends told me to inform them when the results are out.

I'm pretty damn scared this time. No, seriously. I slept at almost 4 trying my best not to think about it which was redundant coz the more I try NOT to think of it, the more I think of it. That sucks especially when I get back aches in the morning due to lack of sleep.

I feel like I'm stuck in the middle, like in the Lost Symbol. Like, being in a coffin with breathable water. Yeah, like that pretty much. You're neither alive nor are you dead. If I don't get at least the bare minimum, there won't be much of a point to continue Part II next year then.

Argh. Bare minimum is 4 b's that is. Double argh.

And knowing that I am by right only 162 cm, is not very fantastic. Still am in denial that I barely reach 5 foot 4'. Damn.

Talking about that, I've been watching Desperate Housewives for a while now, and it is very juicy. My day for the past few weeks had been filled with Friends, Monk, DH, HIMYM, and then dinner, and perhaps after that, Parenthood/Accidentally on Purpose/Antm.

So boring, but at least I'm at home and I enjoy this whole rest for the past month. It's been good, and I actually have time for myself. Other than books, money and friends. Teehee.

It has been 4 years already.

4 fucking amazing years, you.

Okay, enough with the jiwangness. ;)

Wanna go and do wii now. Think I have gained some weight hehe.

haute sale, yeah right.

2010-07-22T21:52:00.002+08:00

A few highlights throughout my stay in Singapore, it hasn't been utterly fantastic, mainly because my pocket has run dry even before I came here.

Aside from tutoring which I haven't been enjoying that much because I just simply cannot teach. I cannot. I can like kids but I can't teach them. My kids will be disastrous!

One of the days, if I recall well, it was last weekend, when my sister told me that there will be a sale at this hotel. Brands like Coach, Gucci, Kate Spade and Marc Jacobs. And up to 70% off, which was helluva deal! But I was just entertaining my sister only, I'm broke remember?

But the place was at Tanjong Pagar, and it starts at 9am. We both woke up at 7 am so that we won't be late. So off we went, we took the cab, but it was raining. And it flooded soon after that, only not at Tanjong Pagar, thank God.and we arrived at about 830. Already, a line of people had formed. And quite a long one.

We waited for half an hour, which by that time, the queue had emerged with the smokers around the exit staircase. It was that long. And did I tell you? Only small bags are allowed.

Other than that, we came up with a plan. My sister wanted to take a look at the wallets, while I, well I have absolutely no reason to be there in the first place.

So we entered the hall, with high hopes, only to be dumbfounded with the price tags. Yes, it is cheaper than the retail price, but it wasn't the new collection. And it wasn't close to a 50% discount. It was 30, maybe 40%. I was shocked coz a week earlier, we went to Coach and saw cheaper stuff than at the so called sale.

Even the Longchamp's Le pliage ones aren't that different from the original price. Cheaper by 10%? maybe.

What was frustrating was some bags which my sister or her friends had purchased in the US are way cheaper than the sale. Even the tiniest bag was $400. Which didn't serve its purpose of a SALE. It's supposed to be cheaper.

Gah, that's as good as buying the latest Madison Collection in the US. Okay, maybe not the latest la, I exaggerate a lot hehe.

Anyway, that kinda pissed us off. Though my sister felt bad and wanted to get that Longchamp in striking Pink. But I talked her out (see? that is My purpose of going. To deter my sister from spending on things which she can get cheaper or things she doesn't need).

Went out for breakfast after that, which I have supposedly spilled apple juice on her iphone. It didn't happen that way! I swear! She toppled her drink onto herself, and spilled apple juice on herself, but I was to be blamed. Why? Coz I'm the clumsy one. PFFFFFTTTTTTT!!!!

Anyway, Snowbelle's getting very close with me. It's like she can't get enough of me. She followed me everywhere, and when I sleep, she'll sleep in between my legs. And in the morning, when I shift under my blanket, she'll sit right next to me.

This is a little surprising. Coz she's an EAC-Emotional Avoidant Cat. She likes to be alone, and now, I'm her pal. Isn't that cute?

My beloved pants from LS are now washed out because of my brother. I am never gonna forget this. :(

I got a job. And I am super duper NOT excited. At all to be exact. Argh.

That picture perfect moment.

2010-07-21T00:31:00.004+08:00

I was late, I really was. I called Janice and said I will be late. But that didn't stop me from panicking. I was on my way to Jurong East, but I stopped at Lavendar.

It didn't hit me that there might be a massive jam.

Nevertheless, I stormed out of Lavendar, to get a cab. Near the bus station, there was a guy who glanced at me when he saw me. I was worried, and I was late.

I spied a taxi stand, and I walked there. It was near, just across the traffic light and a bit further. I was walking, fast, desperate to get there. I was late, the cabs were right there, I was reaching the one thing that may just save my interview.

And suddenly, I felt this gentle pat on my shoulder, and I spun around, angry. Who would dare to interrupt me?

There, a very good looking guy, the guy from the bus stop, held my earring on his palm and he offered it back to me. I was shocked, I was embarassed by my way to welcome his kind gesture, to a complete stranger.

And his smile, the sweetest I've ever seen, that keeps popping up in my head every time I think of it. It was so sweet, so sincere. I was speechless, as cliche as it seems.

I was taken aback by his kindness. Really, I was. It makes me happy to know that there are still good people like him.

Thank you, stranger.

ps: No, I didn't get his number, thus the 'stranger'.

cesc fabregas.

2010-07-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

I've decided not to go gaga over Iker Casillas. This is why.

How can he do this to me???!!!

puasa, sahur.

2010-07-15T17:11:00.003+08:00

I had three plates for sahur.

SAHUR, dammit.

oh yeah, it might be a little late, but today is the third of Sya'ban. Apparently it's a good month to puasa kan? I can't really rmbr what la. But anyway, if ada puasa leftovers, I think it's kinda good to 'practise' fasting during Sya'ban. :)

I'm left with a few days, hopefully done by next week. weeheee.

World Cup 2010-Spain.

2010-07-12T16:38:00.007+08:00

Finally. Like finally. Spain won the title. I would have been happy if The Oranje won, but I am happier that Spain won.

I've been rooting for Spain ever since 2002, back where it was held in Japan/Korea, when I first laid my eyes on Raul Gonzalez. Yes, he didn't play this time. But I remembered his epic way of celebrating his goals. He'd run around and kiss his wedding ring.

I was taken by that romantic gesture, and I've been a fan since. Thus my fav club: Real Madrid. Yes, it was because of that smokin' guy.

4 years ago, I didn't watch the WC. It was SPM year and hello, I was living in a hostel. No tv time during the weekdays. Except for fridays but even the tv has a limit.

But then, Spain didn't manage to go that far pun. Round 16, then lost to France. Oh well. Bukan nasib I guess.

But this year, boy was I super excited. Although knowing that Raul won't be playing, I still look forward to watch them. But of course, after weeks and month looking forward to their first ever match against Switzerland, to which I watched through out, They lost.

I had a hard time sleeping that night. Honestly. I was devastated.

But then I remembered, back in 2002, they made it to quarter finals. South Korea won penalty. That was the first time I watched them play through out. From the beginning to the end. And they lost.

So I refused to watch them play against Honduras. And hey, they won. So I missed out on Chile. And they won.

I missed out on Portugal, which they won again, and up to the top. The very last, the very end, the final match. I stayed up till 430 am to watch Desperate Housewives on the net. I checked on9, no goals scored.

I slept, and at 6 plus, I found myself so groggy and sleepy. I couldn't wake up to go online and find out the results. So I slept back, only to find myself questioning whether Holland or Spain would win-in pictures.

In my dreams, vividly flashing, came all sorts of things. I dreamt of Holland winning, and then it sort of got refreshed, then I saw Spain winning. Actually, it was all my head thinking on which team won.

Yes, I am a La Roja supporter, but I liked Holland. It was a match which I'd love to see who won. And in fact, I'd be happy whichever won. Netherlands, or Spain.

Though I would be happier if Spain won, hehe.

And it was frustrating that day. I was fasting and all, you see. And having not enough sleep is just too much for the body to handle. It was tormenting, not knowing whether Spain won or not. I dreamt of Iniesta, I dreamt that Spain won by 1 goal, I dreamt that Holland won 3:2, I dreamt all that is Yellow, Red, and Orange.

Depressed, at about 11 plus, I woke up. went online and opened up Mozilla. Saved my fav websites, so fb popped out immediately. I saw Chewy's wall post saying: Congrats to your team.

I screamed and clapped(alone on the room) and went on to fifa website to check the score and the goal.

Oh God, I was so happy.

But when I tried to watch the recorded game, they stopped at the 90th minute. I was like szwihkasjgaVjewagk.

Missed the goal. Takpelah, I said. I continued my DH journey, till maghrib, got a super headache after, and at midnight, I watched the game(encore).

It was a beautiful game with 14(?) yellow cards flown all over. A bit boring cause there were a lot of pushing, nudging, pulling, falling, cramping, ouching, shouting, yellow-carding. But Iniesta was brilliant.

And when the final whistle was blown, it was Iker Casillas' tears, it was Iniesta's kneel with hand overflown saying, thank you God and it was Arjen Robben's ultimate look, like as if he has lost all, that made me cry.

It was a deserved game, and I hate it that they couldn't share the titile.

Oh sigh. But it was nice to see Casillas getting his hands on the trophy. He saved a lot of goals for that. Sad thing, Raul wasn't a part of it. But he will be, a part of me(hehehe).:)

Oh, but then, what happens to Pique?

No, I am not gonna deny this growing crush I have for Pique. I don't always go for DFs, normally Villa(forward) would be my typical pick, but hands up high, how can you not like this?

Sweet mamma, I'm gonna pass out right now. But I chose him over this?

Or this?

That's Villa with a kid! Hello, I'm supposed to be the baby-licker remember? How can I not like Villa?

Maybe this is why:

Goodness. Although I notice that he has the same way of posing, but hey, so do I. And that means we have something in common, hehe.

Gerard Pique, you are smokin' hot.

eternal flame.

2010-07-10T14:52:00.003+08:00

credits to Sam Blake

And what would you do if you fell in love after you got married?

Would you live a lie to make everyone but you happy?

Or would you bring tears to many, so that you'll be happy?

What would you do?

eclipse.

2010-07-10T12:32:00.001+08:00

Watched Eclipse, and boy, Jacob got me sweating like hell!

And I think Dakota Fanning is really talented.

you may barf after this, but just let me write okay?

2010-06-30T11:43:00.004+08:00

and David Villa scores! On the 63rd minute.

Iniesta and Villa.

Pique.

(The pictures above are does not belong to me, credits here.
for the wonderful shots.)

And the best player for yesterday's match
goes to:

Thanks.

Immediately went online when I woke up. No, I didn't watch the match. Part of a superstitious kinda thing. Anywho.

Gerard Pique, I love you.

Okaylah, boleh muntah sekarang.

iker.casillas.

2010-06-29T18:53:00.003+08:00

Look who shaved his beard???

Look here.

Oh hell yes, Iker Casillas shaved his beard.:)))

and just days ago, I was telling my friends that Iker should shave and he shaved!

For muh definitely hehehehehe.;)

from a 24 to a 25.:)

2010-06-28T16:21:00.003+08:00

The other day, I went to Levi's with my sister to see their jeans.

Then I saw one which I liked, and tried it. The sales assistant asked, what size for you?

And I replied, the smallest one you have. I turned to my sister and said, I'm a 23/24 la Kaka. I don't have your ass(yes, she has a huge butt).

Sales girl handed me a 24. I went in the changing room to try. I could not fit a 24! Could not even zip it! AT ALL.

Went out and asked for 25. KETAT GILA OKAY.

The sales girl handed me a 26 after that, but it was too long for me, so my sister tak jadi buy it for me. But then again, it was prolly just the cutting. I mean, the pair was indeed very small.

Went to Robinsons sale yesterday. And I spied this Esprit jeans. But it was size 25. And normally I can't fit 25 Esprit. And I was like, oh no, this happens to me all the time.

Nice clothings, tak muat la, besar la. Boring tau. But my sister pushed me to try it nonetheless. It fits. In fact, it was a bit ketat la. But still. Hello. I can fit 25 now.

This is a huge thing if you know me because even MNG's size 24 is big for me. Yeah yeah, I don't have an ass to flaunt. Old news.

Oh well. maybe staying in Singapore made my ass grow. Hmmmm.

marriage at 24. we've all thought about it.

2010-06-25T19:19:00.004+08:00

Was texting, and I was happy.

back at Jiji's, baru balik from a kenduri kahwin, who was her neighbour as well as my relative.

Yesterday, I had a sorta conversation with my sister. The kind that was brief, which might have been a deep conversation, but it was just too weird to have one.

It was about, yes you might have guessed it due to my status update in facebook, it was about marriage. My sister's 27. Well, almost 27. She is in a steady relationship, yes. And there hasn't been real plans on getting married just yet.

Real plans as in REAL plans la.

She said this, which got me thinking. She said that when she was younger, she was thinking/planning on settling down like by the time she reaches 24/26. Like we all do. Haha, don't try to deny la eh, I can see through the comments received.

Every girl seems to be thinking about the same thing at this point of time. Marriage. MRN said once that girls, aged 18-20 will be wanting a partner most at that age. Due to hormonal changes perhaps? But still, I didn't get that earlier. Like I've stated in a previous post, I wasn't INTO like into marriages.

I have this awesomely lame theory. If I get married, I'll open doors to getting divorced. Which I don't want to, and will try to avoid it as much as possible. Avoiding it means not to get married, or even speak about it. Lame theory, right on. Of course I wasn't really thinking of having kids, looking forward to midnight cuddles etc, which makes my theory invalid.

But then again, ever since turning the BIG 0, it got worse, and I cannot at times believe myself thinking about it this frequent. It's true what my friend said, I'll be graduating next year(InsyaAllah) and I'll be working and then there will be all the questions that would sound like: "When are you getting married?" every time I go to family gatherings.

That will suck so bad.

And I am reallllyyyy not ready for that. No, seriously.

But what my sister said later, was the thing that caught me. She said that at 27, she doesn't want to get married. At that age, she realise that there is so much to life, that being married might just end it.

I get her, surprisingly. I get exactly what she means. She was saying that at my age, all we(women) think of is that there is one perfect person for us. Like he is our everything. Our best, our worst, our embarrassing moment, our ice-cream, our love, our lives, our mental and our physical. But that isn't true.

We ARE our everything. We own ourselves, we are our happy days, our rain, our storms. Thing is, it takes a long time to reach that level of understanding. We may have people in and out of our lives, but to them, we are just books.

Some books, are so compatible with our way of lives, with our taste. Some, not so compatible. Some, our diaries. But until(even after) we get married, it's pretty much redundant to be thinking of marriage. Cause we are gonna grow out of that naive thinking that at 24, we'll get married.

We'll realise that there are so many things to life. And I should just NOT type anything, that is about marriage anymore. I think this should be my last post on this.

I am hungry.

But I have no money can somebody just hire me?

Oh yeah, Iphone 4g is selling at 700 POUNDS.

yes, its about 3.5K. MYR that is.

Somebody bust the bank!

pictures.

2010-06-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

some pics, from my cam. I wasn't exactly in the mood to get all snappy though, thus the crappy pics. But this was just in Sentosa though.:)

Anybody care for another trip? Please do come over on the weekdays so that we can enjoy Universal Studios. Hehe.

esplanade.

2010-06-23T21:59:00.004+08:00

I watched The A-Team yesterday with a KL friend. In Sg of course. It was awesomely funny! Though I was expecting lots and lots of action, it was just so hilarious!

Maybe there wasn't much action, but it was very funny. Should watch la okay.

And my Seseri friends came over to Sg for the weekend just last weekend. Tire them out definitely, with all the walking. To Esplanade, town, orchard, malls, and Sentosa.

We were indeed very lucky cause when we reached Esplanade that Saturday night, there were awesome fireworks.:)

There were some NDP rehearsal and there were like so many people(kids). School children actually. And after a while there were so many fireworks, so beautiful. And we were so near to the fireworks, it's as if we could touch them.

Fantastic.

But then, at the end of the day, we were so very tired. But it was an awesome weekend nonetheless. Tiring, yes but awesome.

And getting to meet Fazo, Maharani, Suehaey, Ili, Enchot. Three of them were once in my class before and I memang pernah ada scandal with Fazo. Oh iya, I memang ada scandal hehehe.

But we were sorta the back benchers of the class, so it was cool. Fazo is still very erm...explicit, and Raden is still as lembut.:)

Enchot still like a mummy, very rational and she can foresee lots of things. As for Suhaila, though we often meet through debate and stuff(boys prolly) and she is still as strong, still as pretty.

Elia, yes we don't really talk that much in school back then. Don't get me wrong, we never really have a chance for our paths to cross. But this time we did, and I enjoyed her company. As well as the rest.:)

I heart you people.:)

And though we couldn't get to Universal Studio, we did go to Sentosa. US tickets were sold out, so it was a bit sucky. Though the rides are still renovating and stuff, but it looks cool from the outside. Pictures? I have them but I am not really in the mood to upload it here or facebook.

I am hungry now, and I just wanna eat lots now. Bye!

Number 7.

2010-06-22T19:56:00.004+08:00

THANK YOU DAVID VILLA!

I got myself a spain shirt. Nothing much, no jersey. They do not sell for women. Discriminative much. Chettttt.

Had a tiring week, I have absolutely no mood to blog cause I gotta study for tmrw. Okay bye.

and Germany lost.

2010-06-18T22:34:00.003+08:00

La Roja don't fail me this tuesday!

Surprising, Germany lost to Serbia. Klose was kicked out with a red card, and a minute later, goal for Serbia. Underdogs are really dancing their way in the WC. And I was kinda hoping for Germany to like win. Maybe Argentina will win.

I got myself a Spanish shirt like finally! Searched all over but just got it like yday. Stumbled upon it more likely. Couldn't find jersey cause it's not sold for women, and that I think jerseys are a bit too hot for me to wear all the time.

But like come on it's world cup. Maybe, I'll get one.

Watching USA v SVN. Slovenia just scored their 2nd goal, which should have been offside. And USA blew 2 almost goals. Gah.

And scoring 2-0 barely touching the half time, that's kinda surprising. Didn't I say voodoo earlier?

I wanna be with you. Know that.

2010-06-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

There's still Chile and Honduras to think about, I hope Chile beats Swiss and Spain beats Chile. That would make me happy.

Coz right now, I am beyond sad. Depressed. Shitty and ****ed up. I cannot handle anymore shit like this, I'll just collapse.

Stop. this.

chubby. baby.

2010-06-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

My butt hurts a lot while I type this. I think I need a better cushion for my pelvic bone. Seriously. I have to alas my buttocks with pillows sometimes, it is really annoying. Because according to some Malay customs, I should not rest my buttocks on pillows because we rest our heads on them. So there is a special cushion for my butt.

But I'm not really sure if it's alright or not.

I actually just got back from tutoring my nieces. Not exactly my thing because I don't tutor well. Honestly, I don't have the patience. But they are my nieces, and I gotta help them coz, well, my cousin has helped me a lot ever since I was a kid.

Flashbacks.

I grew up (during my early childhood) in Singapore. Since I was born, my Aunt, whom I called Mak, took care of me when I was young. She was with me through out my growing up days, took me to school, walked me home and treated me as her own.

Often, ppl will ask her who am I and she would reply, that I am her fifth child.:)

Back then, I had no idea what that implied, but now, seeing things in a broader view, I understood that it takes more than being just an Aunt to love a niece/nephew. It takes a real woman to do so.

And not only does she and her husband(whom I have the honour to call Abah) loves me like their own, their children took me as their own sister as well.

And I cannot payback their love and affection for me or my elder sister. Her kindness taught me my first step on how to care and most importantly, how to be sincere.

And they taught me that love, will always have its own way of enduring the most horrid storms no matter what. Of course, when I was younger I was really pampered(like duh, the 'youngest of the five' kot) an I was very naughty* back then, but they never complained.

*naughty in the sense that I jumped out of the window, landed on the parapet of the 7th floor. Mischievously cunning cause I figured out to unlock the window grill all by myself.

I did stupid things like scribbling on their walls, forcing them to paint every year without fail before Raya, and I finished up their talcum powder in 3 days--busy making a 'snow room'. Yes, I was beyond naughty, so don't be too astounded if you see my kids behaving in that manner.

Boy, those were the days.

And now, I guess, I never really got to fill in their shoes when it comes to my nieces, but I try to be there to help them. My sister said I am too soft(which I, for obvious reasons, denied that statement), but I suppose, I don't really have the heart to scold them.

Softy much? YEAAAAAAAAP.

I hope I am firmer when it comes to my kids. If I have one. But I would want him(only the boy) to be chubby. Hehe.

One thing's for sure, I will not let my elder sister take care of my kids. Why? We were talking about something that is related to radioactive products, and she said: That one radio-active, you cannot touch it. I asked: why? She said: Later you become spiderman.

Imagine my kids getting cancer trying to be like spiderman. THAT IS NOT A NICE THOUGHT OKAY.

But I guess it's okay, I'll tell my husband to remind my kids(presumably) right after he azankan, that my sister is crazy. Period.

Lol, it's almost 1. I need sleep.

*

2010-06-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

I am dead. Tired.

SERIOUSLY.

Sweet Valley.

2010-06-06T19:31:00.003+08:00

I wonder what happened to Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield.

Do you miss them too?

buttocks.

2010-06-05T23:34:00.002+08:00

Someone said once, that there are two kind of guys when it comes to men and girls' assets. First, the type of guys who are attracted to girls' breasts, the other type-attracted to ass.

I am definitely the former when it comes to guys cause I really can't understand what's there to see with men's a-double S-es.

Watched Glee and in one of the very recent episodes, Mr. Schue, was trying to 'seduce' his arch-nemesis so that she falls in love(is there such a word in Sue Sylvester's dictionary?) with him and she won't be a pest to Glee Club.

He was showing off his buttocks, singing to"Tell Me Something Good" by Rufus. Dropped his piece of paper, and did the man version of 'bend and snap'.

I was appalled.

Not at his ass, but God, no. I am definitely a breast kinda girl, but the problem would be that men DO NOT have any(if not man breasts) breasts.

And I am NOT attracted to man-breasts.

Makes me feel like I am seeing a woman's breasts. So the EWWWWW.

So if I am neither a breasts girl or a butt girl, maybe I should be bi?

That's a thought. But no, I am completely straight. Meaning I like men, guys, boys, male. Not my own sex.

Oh well. Glee's ending soon. Sinful isn't it to get me addicted to it and end the show. So sad.
And I am getting fatter. I have pictures to prove the statement, but I think it's too ugly for me to post here. I am fuuuuuglyyyyyy.

Mr Mot bunting kot. Perut dia besar gedabak.

prata.

2010-06-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

I don't really feel like writing, because I feel like not writing. Repetition in a sentence. Not a good thing.

I keep on dreaming about my papers. I'm depressed. Really, I am. I keep thinking of how stupid I've been writing my answer. What kind of Part 1 answer was that? Yes, maybe I don't take my academic standings lightly, no actually maybe I'm a tad bit paranoid. But who cares? I keep getting these nightmares anyway.

I feel dumb and sick of my brains. Can we even do that? Feel sick over our brains? I am grateful, but I expected much. And I am not very happy about it.

After SPM I've been so worked out over this. Force feed myself with numerous amount of paper, and regurgitate it afterwards. Which led to serious headache like the one I am having now. Even horribly annoying is an understatement.

I am exhausted. I have no idea why though. I'll be eating some home made prata tmrw and boy am I super excited! Come on now. HOME MADE PRATA. Who on Earth won't be excited?

muffin.

2010-06-02T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hello, this is Muffin Pancake.
Right while I was blogging earlier, he sat in front of the screen, his paws typing out a riduculous form sentence which made no sense at all.
He likes to pose, thus a hell good pic of him. He's very clean and what's fantastic is that he can play fetch(literally) and he likes to talk to me.

Our conversation goes like:

Me: Muffin, how's your day?

Muffin: *meows non-stop*

Me: You are so handsome la Muffin( I wrote fat, but Muffin was staring at the screen so I deleted it)

Muffin: *meows non-stop*

Me: Your brother mana, Muffin?

Muffin: *meows non-stop*

See?

He's sitting beside me right this moment(cleaning his buttocks though) and asking for tlc. He's been swishing his tail all over my face, and trying unsuccessfully to eat my hair.

Anyways, here's how fat he is:

I need to learn from him to be fat. Sigh.

updates.

2010-06-01T23:19:00.003+08:00

Feels awesome to be home. To sleep till noon, eat, read the papers, eat, play with the kittens, eat, and play lots and lots and lots of games: scrabble, chess,psp, gameboy(old school much?haha)

Feels. Awesome.

I love being at home. Oh, I'm in Jb actually. Dad asked me to stay here for a week. He said my kittens have been missing me, which I retorted back,"ala, papa rindu tu, cakap je lah." Haha. He just smiled.

He's coming back and I don't know if I will be able to see him. Do you know that it sucks? Sigh.

I came across my notebooks yesterday, the ones which I used to write about him. It made me realise that I am super corny! Sigh. And jiwang gila, omg, I don't even know myself.

Poems scattered every where, even I feel ashamed reading it back. And about his braces days, goodness, I feel embarassed saying all of this.

My friend(s) said that I blog funnily when I write in Malay. Honestly, it's a Singaporean thing. It's like the foundation of my Melayu started in Singapore, ie the way to write and how to pronouce, so like I am very attached to the baku-ness. Not when I talk, definitely but when I write. I tend to spell like very baku.

Don't get why bahasa baku is so important in Singapore? Try tuning in their Radio Stations, I am telling you, it is all baku. Even the Malay dramas too, but now they've loosen up.

Will be blogging more tmrw. Just got the internet to behave. hehe.

Ps: I need to exercise now.

bad day blues.

2010-05-29T22:35:00.003+08:00

Had a bad day today. One of the worst, in my travelling days. First, I woke up late. Guess I got tired since I skyped with MRN(who is by the way getting sexier) till 3 plus. Slept right after, and I was so tired. Okay la I mean, I plan to wake up at 730. No biggie. But I guess I got so extremely tired, I woke up at 930.

Left the house at 12, after cleaning up my room and everything. With Alyssa sitting on my bed, talking to me, asking so many questions, plus asking me to put some lip gloss for her.

She might be tiny, but she's mighty! Haha.

Anyway, left the house at noon but Alyssa was crying because her mom wanted to go out with her friends and I won't be around, thus the mengamuk-ness. Thank God Hani was fast asleep.

Anyway, back to my bad day, I took the lrt to Masjid Jamek, and transferred to the Sri Petaling line to Bukit Jalil. Pudu is under renovation by the way, which resulted to the temporary central for buses at Bukit Jalil.

Once I reached there, I got to the counter and purchased my ticket home to Singapore. Note this, counter, not the ppl surrounding the area stopping and interrupting random strangers asking where to go.

Got onto the bus, to which this dude who led me there gave his phone number to me. Pffft. Halfway through, at Yong Peng, my mom called me and asked me which terminal I'll be alighting. I asked the driver.

Driver said that the bus is going to Larkin, JB. I said, I want to go to Singapore, and what terminal will he be alighting us at.

He said, that he is not involved with the transaction, and he is going to JB, fullstop.

We were conversing in Malay, and he was quite rude.

I spoke in English, saying that I don't give a damn, and I want to get to Singapore. Deal with it.

He got scared and nodded.

I was furious already! I mean, I paid a good rm40, and I want to get to Singapore, not to change buses at Larkin!

I asked the person sitting next to me, how much he had to pay for JB. He said, he's going to Sg too, with his friends-so altogether 3 of them. They were quite shocked when I told them the bus is going to drop us at Larkin.

After talking to them, I decided that it was best to stick with them rather than being alone. But,
1)I am a girl.
2)they are all three guys, from India.

Hmmmm. Not a good choice, ain't it? But I had to, I'd rather not be alone at Larkin. Trust me, it is scary.

Anyway, upon reaching larkin, I realised that there were other ppl who got conned as well! There were at least some 6 other ppl. Not very young though. I dnk what happened to them, but the four of us, went to the bus stand to get to Sg.

But we decided on taxi. 'Pak Wan Cha' as they called it. Per person, its like $12. Okay lah seeing that they will send me back home straight. But the driver pulak, enjoyed talking to me.

He sent all the boys first, and lastly me. Paranoid at this point? VERY MUCH, I'M TELLING YOU.

What's worse, he actually went to petrol station to pee. Took the wrong turn and ended up in a dark alley. OI! SO SCARY I TELL YOU!!!

But I got home safely. Thank goodness.

As for the three guys, I was quite surprised that the three guys were very extremely friendly and nice. And did not, in any ways, took advantage of me. Even carried my 10 tonne bag. And showed the driver the way to my home through GPS.

Thank God for that, Thank God.

Whatever it is. will be asking that stupid company what happened. I won't be tolerating this kinda thing. No way whoo say.

But on the good side, I feel loved already.:)

My dad was waiting for me, and once I got off the car, he brought me to get some dinner, forgetting my sister.=.="

He u-turned though, haha. Lupa ada anak lain hehe.

Oh, I love Singapore.

gimme more.

2010-05-27T23:06:00.003+08:00

The long awaited day. Finally, the exams are over.

Ironic, I don't feel free at all. Numb, yes. Settling, no. I feel like, oh, it's over the exams. But that's just it. Nothing more to that. No yeays, or yippie! Nothing, absolutely zilch.

I don't look forward to this feeling for the next 3 months. Boy, gimme some love.

ps: Had a picture perfect moment earlier. It was coincidental. Was sitting with my friend and next to me, there was a pink love balloon. Yes, my friend is a guy, thus the kodak moment.:)

law student gone bonkers.

2010-05-26T00:53:00.000+08:00

hectic. chaotic. all the words to describe my head. Not functioning is one of them too.

But anyway, I was dating(in a nerdy way, it is called as discussing/studying) CPZ for the past two days on land, and lookie here:

We dated for too long, so much so that we sound like each other. HAHAHAHA.

Hey CPZ, thanks for keeping up with 1)my weird being, 2)my random being, 3)my MIA being, 4)my constant need to feed, and 5)law students gone bonkers.:DDDD

OKay back to leasehold, CPZ might be waiting. Crazy?

I SO AMMMMMMMMMM.

BTW: happy flirting day.....YESTERDAY.

little kids, big laughter.

2010-05-25T14:04:00.003+08:00

My niece whispered, while walking to my room upstairs to play make up:

Aunty, jangan bagitahu Tok Wan(my uncle)yang Aunty kena belajar, okay? Nanti Tok Wan marah Alyssa, tak kasi main.

(Translation: Don't tell Tok Wan(my uncle) that you have to study. Or else he'll be mad and I can't play with you.)

Me: Macam mana Tok Wan marah Alyssa?
(How does he scold you?)

Alyssa: (mimicking) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Kids nowadays, are getting too smart.

And #@#@^$#&*& to all contractors who, PURPOSELY drill/hammer/hit/make an awful lot of noise from 8-12. Right after I step out of the shower, deafening silence.

Macam setan aku nak tidur laaaaaaaaaaaaa. STRESS.

Serious post in an unserious world.

2010-05-23T15:48:00.003+08:00

Normal, or not normal?

You know nowadays, I find that young kids are getting bolder. When it comes to sex. Forgive me for being bold here, but it is true.

Just a week ago, I saw a video clip that astounded me. Click here. It's a talk show, and this mom here went to consult Maury because her 15 year old daughter is trying to get a baby by herself. She literally is trying to get a baby by sleeping with 15 guys, over 300 times.

300. As much as it is a good number for Sparta, it isn't when it comes to sex at the age of 15.

15. 5 years ago, all I cared for was how Betty La Fea is gonna keep up with all those horrid stuff that she had to clean up. 5 years ago, all I cared for was how Lisa and Fernandez(I think) is gonna get together in Mis Tres Hermanes. 5 years ago, I was into fencing and all I cared for is to be like Masyirah and represent the school for SUKMA.

5 years ago, I don't even know how to flirt. Might I just say, I was ridiculously ugly back then. Really. Which explains why I didn't have a bf back then hehehe.

So okay, say the girl's in America, so maybe it isn't taboo about having a pre-marital child. Like Victoria in the video said, her friends all have one, and she wants to brand the baby like her own, and if she can't take care of the baby, she'll sell it off.

Maybe, it's their culture. I don't know. Maybe to her she doesn't need school. Oh btw, she did repent after, but she had a baby, outta mistake.

Maybe, with the reasoning that back then, young girls at the age of 9 are asked to marry, maybe it's not that much of a shock, it's just that the girl's means of getting pregnant is wild. Too wild, when you have had sex for over 300 times.

I mean, back then it's a norm to get married at the age of 8/9. It's normal, and getting pregnant at the age of 9(that's the record for the youngest mother) is okay. I mean, even now, if you're 15, maybe a top scorer or some sort, you can marry a 19 year old as long as the courts allow. So, maybe it's not that bad.

For a while, you can think so.

Then comes a story told, and I'm sure most ppl who are reading this might have known already about it. It's about this young boy. And this young boy, aged 9, is always missing after school. He goes home eats lunch and goes upstairs for a long period of time. So his brother is quite curious about what he's doing.

This elder brother hides in the closet, and waited for the younger brother. The younger brother brings in with him their puppy. He enters his room, strips naked and pours condensed milk on his private part. He asked the puppy to lick it there.

Ewwww, yes very much. Disgusting, but for pleasure, we've heard of ppl humping a lamb before, haven't we all? I apologise for making you imagine, but this is, what we have to deal with later in the future. As scary as it sounds, they might be our kids.

I mean, at 9, I was playing skipping and hopscotch. I was in netball for a while, and I stated to talk with guys. Even talking is like when forced, like "pass me the paper", or "is it recess already?" That doesn't count as flirting.

Then, my cousin and I were talking about these 'recent developments', and she said that recently, a teacher caught a 9 year old doing it in the classroom. With three guys.

Okay now that, is a tad too far. And coupled with my friend, MLL who has a friend who told him that this girl went to the doctor and said, "I've lost my virginity". Maybe it's just rumours, nothing so very true because I wasn't able to get any confirmation on the facts but, at 9 having sex?

Dear boy, the boy doesn't even know what the function is. Why does pleasure comes with a burden actually, because they bear the very fertilizers to another human being. They have no idea, that this pleasure comes with a huge responsibility. That is the possibility of being a father.

Hell, even grown ups fail to see that sometimes, or else why are there still rape cases? If they know of this huge responsibility of giving life to another human being(I don't think that is a small responsibility) and appreciate this responsibility, then wouldn't they try their level best not to do the humiliating crime?

I don't know, I think this is all too much to digest. They grow up so fast, I have no idea how to stop them.

Real reason as to why I'm writing all of this is because of yesterday. My nephews came over, and they brought a lot lot lot of toys. My nephews are a bit miang, especially Raimi, cause he likes to touch unnecessary places, but of course he gets scoldings la.

So yesterday, as I was watching HBO with my cousin's wife, and the were in their own world, playing. I started getting hungry and I walked to the kitchen. On my way there, I saw Alyssa lying on the table, and Raimi was rubbing some lotion on her body.

I said, "hey! what're you doing?" and they started laughing and I walked away. I walked away, because I had no idea what to do, what to say and I was so blank. I was so so blank, I don't know at all how to react.

I just walked away. Shocked, yes entirely. I mean, yeah, they weren't doing anything so wrong like kissing or some sort, but does that not indicate something? What might be my reaction if they do that?

And why did I JUST WALKED AWAY like nothing has happened?

I was mad at myself, yes. Then I watched The Orphan(like finally), and I realised are we adults to be blamed completely?

When Esther(the evil orphan) and Max went to kill Sister Abigail, didn't it hit any of the adults where they might be? At all?

I keep looking for my nieces every time I baby sit them, it's like a body alarm that goes on snooze, so every 5 mins, I'll find them.

But what if one day I didn't?

And and, that case where this 5 year old got choked on an earring, while his aunt was sleeping. Mak ai, I feel the burden now.

And whoever who think for a minute that taking care of kids is not that hard, think again when the kid dies due to your negligence. In the baby-sitting industry, there is absolutely no room for negligence.

Every scar that they attain while they are young might be the reason as to why ppl do not wanna get married to them. Every stained bottle milk, might be the reason to their sickness in the future.

Have I scared you enough?

Haha. Might write up a Part II. But for now, tell me what I should do if I got caught in a situation like yesterday's.:s

Robin Hood-lesson to learn from.

2010-05-21T23:44:00.003+08:00

Robin Hood. Watched this yesterday, and ooh boy, it was good.

It is mainly about Robin Hood's adventure BEFORE he became Robin Hood. Should have named the movie Robin Longstride, but if they do, ppl won't know that it's Robin Hood.

So anyway, it was about Robin Longstride, before he is named Robin Hood. His journey starts from King Richard I's crusade, where he was an archer there.

But King Richard The Lionheart died, yes(he kena an arrow by a COOK. a damn bloody COOK.) and so King Richard's knight(one of them is Robert Loxley, a trusted man) had to send King Richard's crown to London.

Ye lah, their king dah mangkat, so they had to send the crown home la. The crusade was around France I think, and so the knights rode their horses to where the ship is waiting for them.

Robin however, was well, trying to get into the ship before the rest of the army(soldiers) cramp the ship. And so, he and his friends slipped away from the battle, went into the woods.

That's when the excitement begins.

In the woods, at the same time, the knights were on their way to the shore. The got ambushed by Godfrey, an English who is Richard's brother(heir to throne) John's great friend. Godfrey has had his eyes on the throne, though, so his infiltration in the castle would help him achieve that.

Outside the castle, he has the French king, King Philip to tumble England down. He made an agreement, and so, he was the one who ambushed the Knights, to make sure that Richard didn't get home safely.

So masa ambush tu, he was surprised that the king wasn't there. He asked Robert Loxley, and Robert told him that they were to deliver the Crown back to London. The crown was in a bag on the King's horse, and that horse got away.

Robin found the horse(well, rather, the horse stopped under his command), but didn't know what was happening. His friends, Jimmy, Little John, Allen, and some other guy. And this Jimmy boy, kena seret with the French horse.

So they had to save him and ternampak Godfrey, but sebab rabun, tak nampak sangat. Nampak dia botak licin je.

So they retained the Crown, and Loxley's dying words were that Robin would bring back his sword to his father, Sir Walter Loxley from Nottingham. Becoz Robin and his friends were desperately needing a ride back home, and the knights have the utmost priority, they disguised as Knights.

So then sampai at London, they beritahu the Queen that her son is now dead, and John, the selfish, ignorant, spoilt brother takes over the throne.

So, Robin went to Nottingham to fulfill his promise to Robert Loxley, but Robert has a wife-Lady Marion. They fell in love, cause Sir Walter asked Robin to act up as Robert to ensure that their land is safe.

Walter pulak knew Longstride, as in Robin's dad. And Longstride is the person who initiated Magna Carta, The Bill of Rights.

So anyway, Robin and his friends after all that, helped King John to protect his realm. Cause Robin and the other barons had an agreement(not signed, sealed nor delivered), if they do help King John, he will give them a Bill of Rights.

And so they won, and Godfrey died, but. King John did not give them the Bill of Rights, he even made Robin an outlaw.

So Robin became Robin Hood. Because he had to be hooded all the time kan. And he stayed with the Orphans who helped save Marion. And so Robin Hood stole from the rich, to feed the poor.

Best scene: when Walter had breakfast, and Robin went to him. Walter said that he had a good feeling about today, and he said that he had a boner, at the age of 84.

Best translation: of the above scene: di bawah sana sudah bengkak.

Good movie. Should watch to understand the importance of lambs in a lion's den. Likewise, so should Malaysia's government and the ppl in it watch this cause,

"Rise and rise again, Till lambs become lions."

Learn from it. Draconian laws are not gonna sing us a lullaby to sleep, it will only enrage us.

For our children(future).

thougtless.

2010-05-21T14:16:00.003+08:00

Kadang-kadang tu, teringin nak jiwang-jiwang.

WTF ERNAAAAAAAAAAA.

Okay, nothing much today. I just got bored and wanted to type while waiting for my fringe to download. Season finale btw, did I tell you that? They'll make me wait for another gazillion years.

7 more days, ppl. Till freedom that is 3 whole months.

3 bloody months. Which reminds me, if you're a singaporean and have a kid/child/little kids, I might be giving tuition on the weekends. I can babysit too, if you want me to. Minimal charge. :)

Minimal charge?!!!
Fat hope, ppl will think that I won't teach well/cannot take care of kids.
Okay, then 100 dollars a day. Okay set. Memang jaga habis lah. Currently taking care of Dalila Hani, and alhamdulillah, through out babysitting, no bruises.:)

I need a job. Preferably, $1.2K a month. Used to work for banks, and preferably, a Legal related work. Yeah, I work as a nanny on weekends je.

But why would I wanna drain myself out during the holidays?

Hmmm. I fear that I would not get the results that I want and staying at home will only make me grow thinner(coz I'll be OBLIGED to shop with my sister around Orchard) and my pocket will be too. SO boros.

Sigh. I guess it's true when they say more money=more expenditure.

But I really hope I do get a job. Maybe two jobs. Partly because I need the money, but much more importantly, it's to remind me again and again, that my parents are as tired when they work to feed me. Rough way of reminding me, but yeah.

Oh well.

Gotta get some milk for meh. I feel like i've rested for too long. sighhhh.

Justin Bieber has no idea what/who German is.

2010-05-18T14:20:00.004+08:00

Silence.

Is a bad thing, no?

My niece said I look prettier with glasses. Yes, I'm rabun. Nothing new bout that but I rarely(almost never) leave the house without contacts. Maybe I should?

Hehehe. Sexy librarian pffffffft.

Woke up coz the stupid contractors were busy breaking the wall down(so it seems). Turned out, they were just fixing the door. But the noise.

I tell you, baru mimpi pasal mermaid dah nak kena bangun. Dah la tak tidur banyak last night. Restless. Kept seeing my phone for no reason(or maybe there was a reason why) and slept restlessly. Macam nak exam gitu. Which explains why I woke up thinking that exam's tommorrow. Gah.

Panic attack!

Can't go to Kj's Installation. Yeah, I grounded myself coz. I feel bad not studying. What?! Haha. Rules of Erna much.

tak faham, tak apa.

2010-05-17T15:13:00.003+08:00

RAWR! Another way of saying I Love You, heh?
Cumil, kena ajar anak anak buah. Dah la semalam, I jadi burung. Main charades. Tak tahan, pak cik I jadi penguin tapi...lakonan seperti beruang berkaki pendek.
Tergolek-golek ketawa.

Type. Delete. Type. Delete. Type. Delete.

Apa yang nak direpekkan terpaksa tunggu next week.

Focus, on trust. Trust law is the way of life. Penner! Emery! Swadling! Atiyah!(cyeh tiba tiba commercial law masuk, dah kenapa?)

God, I sound like a geek, in capital letters.

Celaru, tak boleh fikir dengan tenang. Rasanya, kalau ada apa hal pun, bukan masa yang tepat untuk diceritakan. Atau perlukah, untuk diceritakan? Entah lah.

Macam mana pun, rasanya tidak kot. Melalui pengalaman, I jenis species(apakah dalam bm?) yang berunding dengan empunya diri sahaja. Tiada pihak kedua atau pihak ketiga yang akan tahu.

Nak buat macam mana, dah naluri diri(betulkah penggunaan ini?)

Kenapa Erna berbahasa Melayu secara tiba tiba, rasa teramat pelik. Mungkin kerana Erna pelik? Iya, Erna pelik.

Okay, mungkin sebab I cuba membakukan bahasa, itulah sebabnya bunyinya seperti bahasa alien. Seperti budak tadika bercerita dengan pelatnya, hohohoho.

Tak faham kan post ini? Tak mengapa.

Dengar lagu ini. Menyayat hati. Sebab...terasa seperti dinyanyikan sahaja? Haih. Dah 9087389136832 kali saya mengeluh. Entah.

Rumah hidup-Buta.

Bukan pecah kali ini, tetapi buta. Buta nak mati. Lagi baik mati.-_-'

Oh kenyang kerana berjaya menghabiskan 6 kek. Oh kenyang. BURP BURP BURP.

sudah mula tumbuh(APAKAH!) semula.0.0

Long lost, poem.

2010-05-16T00:44:00.002+08:00

I found this.

How does one eternalize?
The perfection you own.
When painters painted in vain,
the poets recited in disdain.
Those who had tried,will tell.
That such a feat,is impossible.
For they had tasted the bitterness,
of failure.
And how could you blame them?
It is as they say.Impossible.
For how can anyone possibly portray?
Your true essence,your perfection.
The harmonious presence,
of ethereal beauty and angelic virtues.
Oh!How can one but try,
To eternalize you.
-winterheart-

Written by, winterheart.
For all th coldness and frost found in your frozen heart,
It beats.

But, Thank you, YOU.

Post mortem

2010-05-13T18:40:00.003+08:00

So I was (still) crying after posting yesterday's post. It felt like how I felt during Public Law last year, like I could have tried better, but I didn't.

So yesterday I just wept like a baby, and I ate ice cream to cheer myself up, like come on, Movie+Subway+Ice cream should make myself forget bout tort right? Not exactly.

I came home tattered. And even this morning, when I finally woke up, I got so emo, I just didn't wanna wake up, so I just laid on the bed, thinking. Just thinking non-sensibly. Woke up at about 12 (yes, I was tired) and laid on the bed till like 3?

Doing absolutely nothing, except for some scribbles on pieces of paper, not that it helped. Got on skype with MRN but even so, I refused to video call with him, I was pretty much depressed, and I just wanna stay that way.

But eventually, I gave in and let him watch this depressed girl in polka dotted pants, with grey tee, and he saw me with my eye bags-clear indication that I have been crying after all.

We are talking about me, the girl who didn't cry when her bf left for aussie but who would have thought that the TORT paper would lead her to buckets of tears?

Anyway.

I just wanted to thank the kind wishes and the attempts to make me feel better. I know, I am a very difficult person when I am sad. I know that I can be so happy and so sad the next minute, which frustrates ppl who tried to cheer me up.

I know that it's not nice to see me being sad even after hours of consoling me. But I just need time. I need to escape for a while, curl up in a box, and just enjoy my sadness as it is.

So, thank you. Thank you my awesome 'der': Mr Little Lulu(MLL). You know who you are. And yes, I shall get the song out of my mind now, thanks to you. And I woke up laughing at 'der'. Gone, bonkers, yes.

Thanks president. You're a bounce ball, and I'm bouncing back.

Thanks Charter President for the thoughtful comment. Appreciate it much, but I couldn't reply cause I was busy crying again.

Thanks Nad. Takpe, tak faham, tak payah faham pun. I pun cannot understand what I wrote, just too messy. Thanks for caring.:)

Thanks Benjie. It's a phase we gotta go thru in life, and I was just too shaken by it.

Thanks MMH. Subway was good. And I will putting more branches to the flame.

Thanks, Mr Batman Lover. It would be nice to see you in Sg.

Thanks, PW(GK). The brief let's-forget-bout-exams was settling.

Thank you MRN. Know you're busy, but thank you. For sparing some time for me. Eat more though, you're turning as skinny as I am.

Ps: Mendengar seorang lelaki menyanyikan lagu Little Lulu sangat kelakar. Lebih lebih lagi bila dia ketawa pun dah jadi macam perempuan ade braces, tak boleh buka mulut besar. Teeheehee.

sorry chewy.

2010-05-12T18:53:00.005+08:00

So Tort, was beyond crushing for me. I liked the subject ever since my A-levels year, and I still like it now.

But who knows, the examiners decided to repeat last year. The qns were tough. Tough in the sense that, you don't know/unsure that it is that path they are asking you to go through.

Maybe, in a wider sense, we can say that tort is the filling of cavity in law. Like what you cannot sue in other laws, you sue in tort. Thus, every topic is somehow related. Like negligence and OLA and stuff.

So at the end of the day, you get really confused of which topic is the question really asking about.

Because everything may fit, only that it doesn't when you have more evidence.

And in the exams, you can't really ask Ursula/Una things, you know. You assume, and sometimes you assume too much and it will go all wrong.

Point is, I screwed up. In both Commercial and Tort. Yeah, I can tell you that I didn't have enough time coz Commercial was two days ago and after Commercial I slept like a baby, but will the examiners know of this?

How do you compile a year's syllabus in 1 day? Hell, to be honest, I didn't read up negligence at all. Like the basic Tort of Negligence. I depended solely on my memory to answer today's question and thank God, my memory did not fail me today.

But other than that, everything else was a mess. My OLA, My CPA. my oh dear God. My defamation. Damn. Here I am complaining bout Tort, while my part II friends like Chewy had to face Commercial and Juris(damn right, Jurisprudence) back to back.

So I can't really complain.

Really, it was my fault. So to de-stress: I just didn't want to be at home-I went out to watch IP MAN 2 with my friends. And eat subway AGAIN.

Ip Man(pronounced as yeep-mahn) is an awesome movie. It is not about superheroes, it's about kung fu, Bruce Lee and Wing Chun.

Awesome la, since I never watched a Chinese movie in theater.

I thought I'd be happier after that. On the way back home, thoughts crept into my head. Suffocating my sanity for a while, I lost my conscience.

It hit me. That I've screwed my papers.

I came home, sat in front of the laptop and waited.

Then my dad called.

Casual hello papa, how're you and all and he said that "I'm calling to support you."

I said, "but it was sooooo hard!"

He said, "but you can answer, kan? Dah lah tu, tak payah fikir banyak banyak, next paper you buat betul betul"

I said okay, but my voice was shaking at that time. As soon as we hung up, I burst into tears.

I felt so hopeless. I did feel that way. I felt like, How? How to get there? How to get 2:2 at the very least? How? How to face my parents? How to face my lecturers? How to face Ms Munita?
How to face, my sister?

At this point, I just want the exams to end. I don't want to know my results. I am just so scared to find out.

Sorry Chewy, I couldn't nail the Tort Paper for you. Wish I could though. Sorry if I let you down.
Tearing up and getting really ugly as I type this. Filled bucket 3.

On the way back home, I counted tiles.
I counted steps for a thousand miles.
But now, I'm counting for my hope to die.
And I wish that time will lie.
Coz I know this hope will lose its flame,
and I can't even revive it again.

The paper I do not like.

2010-05-11T16:35:00.003+08:00

I wonder if anybody knows that I do not enjoy contract law, or commercial law.

Took commercial law cause of its so called prospects.

Told myself that I will enjoy it at the end, and I will have to work hard to like it, but I will be able to do it.

I think. for many reasons, I have failed myself this time round.

And honestly, I have no mood to read Tort cause every time I do, I feel the pressure. The mistakes I did in Commercial Law. The extra 1 min I should have taken to scribble just one sentence to nail the qn.

And tort, albeit an okay subject for me, is just too tiring for me to drain out. I wish I am brilliant, and I wish that I have the strength to carry this on.

Not to mention, the exam hall is beyond, like BEYOND cold. Definitely colder than our library. So heat up people, we'll need it badly.

I hope I nail Tort. GAH. It is just sometimes too stressful.

I need food now, bye.

come home to daddy, peter.

2010-05-08T18:14:00.003+08:00

IT IS WALTERNATE, DAMMIT!

IS PETER COMING BACK HOME TO WALTER OR LEAVE US FOR HIS REAL DAD, WALTERNATE???

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WATCH FRINGE.

NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER WEEK. TO SEE WHO PETER WOULD CHOOSE. AND I BET CHA THAT THEY WILL LEAVE US HANGING BECAUSE SEASON 2 IS ENDING.

I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE CRAZY. TO TOP THAT OFF, I AM LOSING WEIGHT DUE TO THE STRESS. I AM A (NOT) PROUD 36KG.

THAT IS A SIZE -1, THANK YOU.

OKAY, BACK TO CHAUDRY V PRABHAKAR AGAIN. AND OH BOY HONEY, I DEFINITELY AM GRATEFUL FOR SKYPE.

After like 9 months, I finally get to see Eliza ~~dance stark naked in her room while shaking her booty off~~ eh i mean, I get to see Elly, and she is as pretty as ever.

Cuma hidung je la a bit over. hahahaha.

And I did get to see Fyka albeit for an hour or so, but it was nice catching up.

What would I do without them people, who have kept me sane in that insane but warm(?) school.

And to all the llb students, nail em papers, okay. This might be my last post, and I just wanna wish you guys all the best. To my blogger friends, Chewy, Shin, Belle, Karynn, Dan Gan, Jessica Yong, Sharon(sorry if I left out anybody) who are in bed memorising those ass killing cases, best of luck.

To the examiners, who are in the region where Parliament is apparently hung, please do know that we will love you more if you do let us pass with flying colours.

God, help this hamba of yours.

plan B.

2010-05-07T16:54:00.005+08:00

This Is Azlan Iskandar, yes, Malaysia's Squash Player.

At that point of time he was garu'ing his face, so not so very macho la, but his hair's nice. And his eyes are poppy, like goldfish. Like so cute.

Azlan Iskandar, in Clove.

But this one more dashing, no? Dah pandai main camera sikit, so you can see his poses aren't too candid and see him flaunt his nose, and eyes. Bulu kaki nampak macho okay. Haha.

Azlan Iskandar, and Yiu Lin in Naza Italia's Maserati
'Fabulous In White' Party.

Theme is white, so jangan pulak fikir they purposely wear the same colour. I like the colour of his eyes.

So, I've come up with a new plan. Get married to Azlan and do not have to worry bout my exams. Or the results.
Travel to UK and be his cheerleader(as if, I can't even do a split)
Or maybe, just gaze into his eyes all day long. Gah, tempting.

But hell, guys won't want a girl with shrinking boobs kan? Oh boobs, grow up won't you please?

I loathe it when my head can't focus due to inevitable circumstances.

I loathe it.

I hope I don't screw up. Like before. Ass la me. Sigh.

Somebody save me.): AND my boobs.

this is a fair comment.

2010-05-05T20:33:00.003+08:00

It has been a long time since I last wrote a post that would make ppl barf due to the jiwang-ness inserted. Not that I don't have that type of feelings anymore, no, no, I am quite sure that it is still there, but because, if you've been reading this blog for a long long time, it has grown.

Or rather, I have.

From a typical blog filled with love letters, unsent to him, I painted this page here with unsent letters to myself, to constantly remind myself of things I hope I would not forget. See, human, like you and I, we tend to say things abruptly pressured by emotions and regret them later.

I choose to remind myself of these thoughts to burn a type of fear that only I give a damn about. Fear, of all the things we find in life, is not necessarily potent, but it is to me. And to the determination that derives from this fear, it is vital.

How did I get here?

This is me, staying honest to myself. This is me, understanding what is sincerity, and what is fake. This is me, choosing my path. This is me, speaking up.

We all change. I do. You do. Everyone does. But, if we have the power to stop someone, or something from changing into a monster, wouldn't we want to? Would we keep quite amidst the corruption, glorified, by people who don't give a damn?

I was sad, that Zaid Ibrahim lost by 1,725 votes. I was, hoping that we could see someone who has had guts to resign, rise. I hoped, maybe too much. He may have lost the battle, but he lost, with dignity, still attached. The other, may win, but where lies his dignity?

Similarly,

The questions kept running:

How, would I be true when I censor my words conveyed? How, could I be respected when all this while, I choose what not to tell and what to tell? How, could I still be seen impartial, when the people know I am not? How can I, be a leader when I am a slave to my political standing? When I am but a puppet, unable to have control over my actions? How can I lead? What dignity do I have left?

(Innuendo much, people?)

I sympathise your loved ones, cause my mom said: kalau kita buat jahat, Tuhan akan hukum kita. Dia Maha Adil. Kalau tak kena kat kita, kena kat isteri kita, suami kita, keluarga kita, anak-anak kita, cucu cicit kita. Tak akan lari kalau kita jahat.

Bukan nak sumpah, tapi kenyataan.

Temporary Happiness V Permanent Happiness.(will elaborate more later in the future posts)

Read: Din Merican.

He made me happy with his article this morning. It showed that at the very least, there had been an awakening. That alarm they tried to put off, had finally woken up people. People who deserved to be heard.

Ps: Coming from someone who enjoys Public Law. Haha.

brown betty-i like this title.

2010-05-05T00:10:00.003+08:00

Olivia Dunham In Brown Betty, Fringe.

Sigh, what can I say? It was kinda disappointing. The only relevant part is at the very end, and having to have anticipated Peter's return which didn't materialize at the very end, was sorta frustrating.

This episode is mainly about variety. Like when we look at cases, some has policy reasoning. Though unfair at times, but due to policy reasoning, the courts take a different approach. This episode is due to variety. Producers just wanna give fringe a gist of musical based theme in a sci-fi series.

Which, at first had me excited, but not anymore la. I was actually hoping it to be more of like Chicago, or Moulin Rouge, with Anna Torv all prepped up with flaming red lipstick, it was bound to be seductive, right? WRONG.

She sang, albeit touching, but in a very low, detective-like voice. Not sexy. Haih.

I really really thought Peter was gonna come back. But he didn't. He's still missing. Ella, Olivia's niece, mainly brought hope, coz at the end, Walter was smiling.

As for Brown Betty(the title) is actually a type of weed(hybrid) that Walter created or rather experimented. Seeing a scientist weed is so funny. It reminds me of Pineapple Express, the movie to watch if you're drunk/high. That is what the movie is about. Weed. Haha.

The Teaser photos for this week's episode is up. Peter is there but I don't think he will be reunited with Walter just yet. I'll be crying buckets if they do. I must say that despite the failed attempt to make the series more "musical" I must say that Lance Reddick has a nice voice, Not something you'd be expecting from him la.

I think it's too obvious that I'm a fan, coz everyone's been asking me where I got my Fringe episodes! And, what's worst(maybe not that bad), I have a friend who nudges me every week in MSN to discuss about Fringe. Haha, PSYCHO!

But it's kinda fun to have somebody who has a common interest like you do. That doesn't involve studying or cases or authority what not.

Oh well.

It might be random, but the other day, we did that Love Compatibility thingy, and I scored 98% with a friend. Mr MMH. HAHAHAHA. The worst part was when ppl started to congratulate us, saying that if ada wedding jangan lupa ajak.-_____________-"

APAKAH?

To which, I replied, I'm taken, and he has sooooo many girls to deal with. hahahaha.

It starts to freak me out when classmates think that I'm single. Heh. I learnt from my mistakes, and my mistakes were plenty. It's best to stay unsingle and not ready to mingle.

What am I babbling pun tak tahu lah.

Oh, today's Alyssa's Birthday. She's gotten presents, from me, Kakak, Mom but the best, was from her lil sis. CHICKEN POX! Poor girl, it's starting already. White spots emerging from her skin, and she's yelping in pain.

My boobs are shrinkin'. Exam stress sucks.

2010-05-04T00:21:00.002+08:00

I am no God to resist pain, I am no angel to resist temptation.

I am a person, flawed, so take me, like in Brice v Brown.

even strays, love.

2010-05-03T21:43:00.003+08:00

Came across this, in fb.

Cried. Such a crybaby, but it was so sad.

Need more tissue.

ps: looks like i have to give Zaim some tissue too.:)

hello people who aren't too busy.

2010-05-02T19:34:00.003+08:00

I have lots of things to blog about, things which might be a lil sensitive, and perhaps not sensitive at all.

But I won't do it today. I'm just so dead tired that I just wanna sleep.

Goodnight.

But one thing's for sure, CHICKEN POX fever is in town! Hani's got em, and apparently my 32 year old cuzz who hasn't gotten them got them. Waiting for Alyssa to get em so that after that we can celebrate her birthday yippie!

And, finally, if it is not too much to ask, please do sedekahkan Al-Fatihah to my uncle who passed away on the 22nd of April. He was a good man. He will be missed.

stick out your tongue.

2010-04-24T17:56:00.003+08:00

my dad, trying to be funny.
(excuse the awkward look by yours truly)

white tulip and the man from the other side.

2010-04-24T16:54:00.003+08:00

It's heartbreaking when you hear a baby cry in pain. Even if the baby is not yours, he is yours to care.

Watched Fringe episode 19 yesterday while baby sitting. Alyssa wanted to sleep in my room. Yes, my room. It is not normal for Alyssa or Hani to sleep in my room coz 1) it is a hot room and 2) they are not used to it.

But surprise, surprise, Alyssa slept in my room for a whole 3 and a half hours. Ocassionally she woke up crying for ibu but then she ngigau a lot. And I managed to shower, study, eat and watch fringe while she was sleeping.

The whole idea of blogging today is to let everybody know that I find JJ Abrams fantastic. Watch the latest episodes of fringe, and you'd understand why.

John Noble, as Walter Bishop, is THE perfect actor for that character. The way he lived up to the character itself is so amazing. Fringe is so synonym to X-files, and that gives you the impression that it is mostly gross, but I cried(yes, bloody cried my eyes out) when I watched the past few episodes. It was so touching in White Tulip, especially the end.

The Man From The Other Side had me crying again coz it was heartbreaking when Peter said to Walter, "I'm not your son." John Noble, having to portray so much sadness in the brief 2 minutes or more of screen play had my heart tighten up coz at that point of time, you know exactly how he feels.[imagine my nieces saying i'm not their aunt.] Heart breaking.

But then again, maybe I am just too over excited at the fact that Peter found out by himself that he was from the alternate universe. And that guy on the bridge is so totally Walternate. I mean, it would make sense since Walternate would wanna find Peter back right?

Sorry if it sounds alien to you. I'm just too psyched on the fact that PETER RAN AWAY! Anywhoo, if you guys do wanna download, try eztv.it. It is on time, like exactly at 1100 Friday Msian hour, it would be uploaded. And sometimes when you torrent it'd be in adobe format what not, or it contains lotsa crap aside from the vid itself right? and sometimes its 1gb? yeah, you don't get that w eztv.

But no biggie, Peter is coming back. :D

God, it's a tiring day and I sorta wish I should have asked to sit for my exams in JB instead. I need good food while I study, hehe.

Can't wait for Friday!

2010-04-22T13:48:00.001+08:00

I've never been very good at being angry.

That's why I don't get angry easily(?)

But nonetheless. I am pretty angry right now and staying silent, isn't the best thing to do.

bah.

2010-04-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

da sudah la, puasa kena sabar sahaja.

ended.

2010-04-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

I just wanna curl up into a ball, hide inside a hole and sleep to wonderful dreams.

Is that so hard to wish for?

Gahhhhhhh. I miss being carefree. Everyday I look at my tiny nieces, I wonder how it feels like to be them, carefree. Though Alyssa worries a lot about her dresses and being all princessy and the attention diverted to her, but she x have to worry about living up to parents' expectations(not yet) or having a solid rship, or friends or lots of other stuff.

I have been fasting for a few days now and although it drains my energy almost absolutely before buka, but it certainly brings me peace and tranquility, just what I needed. It brought me closer to God, something I desperately needed.

I miss home.

wallpaper.

2010-04-18T20:13:00.003+08:00

So how do you think Love would be like if he was just a guy. Maybe he enjoys smoking after meals. Or smokes weed occasionally. Maybe, he shoplifts for fun. Maybe he's a father of 3 kids. Maybe he has 3 wives. Maybe he's a Muslim who's in love with a Jewish girl. Maybe he's looking for a roommate to share his apartment with. Maybe he collects Star Wars toys. Maybe he's a straight fashion designer. Maybe he rides a fixed gear. Maybe he's dating a celebrity. Maybe he's a guy who digs older women. Maybe he's just young and confused and doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he doesn't want to get hurt being in love with someone. Maybe just like you, he wonders what would Love be like if she was just a girl?

Yunalis Zarai, in her blog post, here.

Love, can be undeniably sweet, though sometimes it brings tears to your eyes. Simply cause, and it won't stop running down your cheeks as much as you want them not to. Love can be hideous at first, but you still stare in awe. Love is sad sometimes, coz you can hear his/her heart beating though she/he is miles away from you. Love is happy, though we often say that, we only realise the true meaning of happiness when you really feel it. Love is sometimes, regret. Coz sometimes you wish that you can turn back time. Love is candy, when your throat desperately wants it. Love is, you.

Focus on the paper tmrw, boo.
Right track.(:

Anna Torv splits with Mark Valley, yeay.

2010-04-17T23:18:00.003+08:00

Anna Torv and Mark Valley, splits up.

For all those Fringe fans who think Anna Torv should stay single, rejoice. I think Anna Torv looks better with Joshua Jackson but where to put Diane Kruger then?

Anna Torv and John Noble? Hahahaha. Too desp much.

There's a whole list why she should stay single but the picture suffice.=)

not a soppy post.

2010-04-17T21:53:00.003+08:00

oh well, I think it's been quite some time since I posted a soppy, sick, hopeless romantic post. Today is the 78th day we've been apart. I know we've been apart longer than this before, but before was difficult. This time it is as difficult, but I guess we learnt from our mistakes before I guess.

I am a careless person. Literally, I care less. Like I don't care that much physically? Coz every time I have a dispute with other guy friends, that seems to be THE reason. They'd say I am not appreciative as I should have been.

When accused like that, I'd instinctively rebutt but the truth is, I really think I am unable to portray such care physically. That's not how I work. I am sentimental, but I am not the type to show it to people.

I sacrifice, and that is how I show I care. I'm saying all this coz of a recent major dispute I have with a friend(you can say friends, technically), and to me, if you're not gonna get over a mistake I've done, then I guess you don't know me that much.

Having to fight is bad enough, having to disregard my sacrifice and jump on conclusions that isn't based on good, impartial opinion is another way to provoke me to saying hell to you.

And I can't be bothered anymore. I have had stares that are so annoying because they sided you, but those stares only show that you are insecured, and you needed support. You showed them the texts I sent to you, and you say that they are reasonable? A group of reasonable people are not a group who has heard your story, and are biased.

I have had my share of anger a week ago, and I don't deny that I am terribly sad and disappointed. But nonetheless, ppl whom I had a couple of lunch with don't have the right to say I have changed. They don't know me. I was angry and they have no idea how I am angry, they assumed I have changed? What bullshit is that.

It reminds me of the same traits of dispute I had with MRN, the first actually, and it is due to that same reason. I wasn't able to reflect my feelings. It ended up into a disaster, but it showed what kind of person I am, who I may be. I told him that I am Jane Bennet, from my Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Hard to show feelings.

And you can't change me for that. Lots of friends have tried. MRN has tried. But I can't and I won't be able to. I tried to change but it's how I am I guess. I hope my friends don't hate me for that though, coz I understand the frustration.

I do but I just can't help it.

I am tired now, tired of keeping and making ppl happy and being treated like shit whenever they feel like it. I am tired of helping friends who won't answer my calls. Who thinks I treat them like a butler. Fyi, I absolutely loathe going to the library. Reason I stayed is for you, and you say I treat you like a ball. Fcuk you.

Marah betul ni.

MRN is getting thinner. He needs someone to pamper him with food when he gets back home.(:

How did a supposedly corny post become so angry? goodness, erna, you have to control your anger diarrhea sometimes.

alive.

2010-04-14T00:20:00.002+08:00

After 4 days of agony, I'm back alive!

Yeap, although the whole my-muscle-aches-everytime-i-move thing kinda deleted my memory a bit. Or maybe it's just normal only that I forgot that it was.

I'm not making sense am I? That's good cause it just means I'm back.

You know about law, it's something I dunno, most who dealt with this area may understand. See, law is complex, and while arguing it, we may go on and on and on and suddenly our minds tweak one degree to the left and the whole argument fails.

Ever had one of that moments, guys? When you're in the class listening to Ms Ananthi explanations on idr and HST, and you're getting it, you're so getting it, then suddenly she says something very insignificant and you go like whaaaa? Blankness in your head?

If I have to create an analogy to that, I'd say almost squirting and then your parents come home. Total blowoff. Yeah like that.

I have no idea what made me gave that analogy, but I guess it explains a lot. I'm a bit sleepy actually, maybe that's why. I have to do laundry tmrw, grrrrr. Sigh. A few days left. I 'd better stop writing.

sexual harassed

2010-04-10T19:10:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah, I'm back.

Two nights ago, on a Thursday night when I had a night class, my cuz fetched me. But it was her second time after a long time, so she couldn't remember the way. She stopped near mcD's and it was a short walking distance.

Knowing that she has 2 kids in the car, and it would be difficult, I walked fast. My friend, Mr Meet Me Halfway(MMH) asked me to wait so that he can send me, and I reluctantly waited for him.

As we walk through this alley, there were some guys waiting for cars. Here, these boys would ask for money for getting you car park. FTW kan. Anyway, some of them are always drunk-you can tell by that stench that stings, while some are sane.

There was this dude who looked at me, and mind you, my buffed, tall friend right beside me, he went on saying..."eeee, awek ni cun la, rasa gerammmmm nah, nak cubit-cubit.."(i can't hear what he was saying after that but I think I heard 'tetek' somewhere)

I've been harassed lotsa times, but that one felt so damn creepy. Disgusting dowh. MMH pun looked super disgusted. I went home and had fever.

That was how disgusting it was.

Haih. Men. When they don't have any girlfriend, they go on fighting over a girl. When they do have one, they end up cheating.

sakit belakang, sudah tua.

2010-04-10T17:30:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating for quite some time, I haven't been feeling well. If you happen to notice my fb status updates, you'd know.

Went to the dr yday, and she said that I was just tired. Tired. Heh. I slept for about a total of 27 hours within 2 days and I am not yet recovered. I have wasted lots of time. Apart from the 27 hours sleeping, I spent most of the residual hours LYING ON MY BED. Why, you might ask? Coz I couldn't get up. My balance sense got wrecked and I felt light headed every time I walk.

Goodness, body, goodness.

I didn't eat anything yesterday except for chicken soup, twice. I felt terrible, beyond that actually. I felt hopeless and restless.

I just had my first ideal meal after 2 days. Kebulur dowh. Oh dude, food was awesome if NOT for my nose. I lost my sense of smell too. I can't smell. I can breathe, but I can't smell. Haih.

And the dr said I was tired. I felt feverish, but it's not fever. My joints hurt, and I have back pains. My nephew, Raimi, asked me why sakit belakang? I said, "auntie dah tua."

The kids laughed at me and said, "auntie dah tua, auntie dah tua." damn.

I am now feeling tired again, and I reckon that the feverish symptom would hit me again. Oh dammit.

head's spinning, I gotta sleep. Even my head can't deny my body's needs. Even after I treated my body to healthy food, and slept for hours long, it is still merajuking w me.

Maybe coz I keep thinking of trust, and even dreamt of knowing assistance+knowing receipt. yeap, bcci v akindele, the works. Sigh. Erna is such a loser for being sick.

4 weeks to doomsday. Double effs.

the weather is hot, my head is burning.

2010-04-07T17:16:00.002+08:00

There was one time, when Alyssa was almost 1, and she was in my room, with the maid. I was talking to the maid, and showed her some shoes. Alyssa didn't have any pants(or pampers) on. Maid was about to give her a bath. Then she said,

"Auntie, nak kentot."
"auntie, i wanna fart"

I laughed and said, "fart la," thinking what can be worse than a breath of stink.

She squat down and poo pooed on my floor. Yes, her shit was well, what can I say, liquid-ish.

See, be careful of what you wish for.

I am sharing this, cause she was in my room just now watching Princess and The Frog, and she did that again but in her pampers of course. AND REFUSED TO WASH.

Like hello. It stinks and I had to spend 1 hour plus with that smell while watching Princess and The Frog.

Which makes me wonder, will she ever remember me later in the future? The auntie who bathed her, washed her, made her milk although tak sedap, who slept with her(ahhhhh, no dirty thoughts.), who got her make up.

I wonder if she will remember the make-up moments, the merajuk moments, the cam whore moments.

I wonder if she will remember my name as: Erna Farhana binti LEE DONG CHUL.

Your auntie wonders, Asha Basha, if you'd remember her as much as she might.

Ps: yes, I call her Asha Basha. And Hani-Hunny Bunny.

anti discrimination campaign.

2010-04-06T16:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, when I walk around the mall with Hani alone, say, to distract her from demolishing our dinner, I get stares, often by women, with the look that goes: SO YOUNG GOT BABY ALREADY AH? MESTI TAK KAHWIN LAGI.

mestilah aku tak kahwin lagi, ni bukan baby aku lah. Tau la mesra, muka sama.

Stereotype.

When will we change?

tapi sometimes there are ppl who look at Hani and give me this look that goes: AWH, SO CUTE THIS BABY. WANT TO CUBIT! THE MUMMY ALSO SO CUTE.

Gila perasan, sepak sikit boleh tak.

Next time, ppl, be optimistic. Maybe things aren't that bad.

And the next time you see me with Hani, give me the latter look okay. hahaha.
Mintak pulak tu, tak tau malu betul.

makes me think.

2010-04-05T18:09:00.004+08:00

the sight of a girl, barely 8, walking down on the side of the road, with a heavy bag on her back and her determination to walk forward all alone, makes me grateful of the days my dad would pick me up. Even though he was always late, even though I have to wait.

Thanks dad, for your undying love and care, and for your sense of humour that would never fail to make me smile although you did something terribly wrong that made me sulk.

eeeeeeyerrrrrr, so old already my papa. haha.

Dear papa,

Kids and animals always loved you, and often wondered why.
Then I realise, they them kids and animals, can detect things. Intangible things a naked eye can't see, but we can only feel.

Its your love, papa, that attracts.

Thank you for all of your love.:)

loved,
your daughter.

2010-04-04T22:16:00.002+08:00

why is it so hard for you to see?

for whatever that is worth, I am done.

DONE.

geddit? rot la you. fuck care. you think I will stay and understand? nah, not this time buddy. i understand enough. go get your ex to wipe out that shit. i don't. give. a damn.

mana tak nye. I tried, dude. I tried. I tried.

Even though it was horrible at first, I did my best. You lost your life, you made me a substitute, i I hold on to it. I made you're alright everyday. I check up on you. Every msg you sent to me, I replied, even though I was with my bf.

I went on, shut up about how she's been mistreating me. Made sure you had no idea of it. Coz I know, that if you knew, you'd be crushed. I didn't want you to be crushed. I wanted you to be happy.

I spent hours. Hours each day hoping that with my presence your pain would go away. I became your ice cream, for every heart break, you need a tub of ice cream, and I became that.

I pushed away my ego, I pushed away my sensitivity. So that you can regain from where you left off. Strong, as always, but sensitive.

I told myself that I had to be there for you. I didn't want anything, I just wanted you to be happy.

And then we had our fight. My bad, my fault, but now you. You.

Do I deserve to be treated this way? Really do I?

All of that and you just dump me off like I am some shitty trash to you?

Sorry, honey, I am worth more than that.

2010-04-04T21:03:00.003+08:00

i am honestly, a step away from saying this. really.

i am angry, i really am.

you. don't. deserve.this.

.

2010-04-02T17:47:00.002+08:00

Hi, I am Tach.
I attach and detach.

baby.blues.

2010-04-02T17:28:00.001+08:00

love the new firefox.
its colourful and beautiful. heeeee. Though you guys might have noticed that I am also using Google Chrome right at the bottom there.

And yeah, I am baby blues fan. Uber cuteness.

Alyssa calls me mummy and Hani calls me Mama sometimes.
What does THAT say about me again? haha.

but WHY?

2010-04-02T01:07:00.003+08:00

Alyssa, aged 2 and 10 mths.

Alyssa gets realllllllllllllly chatty these few days.
Our conversation earlier.

Reading the NST, picture: some men took plastic bags that consists of foetus, of unborn babies.

Alyssa(A): Auntie, ada apa tu dalam plastic tu?

Me(M): Dalam plastic tu ada baby.

A: kenapa ada baby auntie?

M: ibu dengan ayah dia tak nak baby tu.(realises that it was a wrong thing to say that)

A: kenapa ibu dengan ayah dia tanak baby tu?

M: manalah auntie tau, Alyssa tanyalah ibu and ayah dia.

A: Alyssa mana boleh cakap dengan diorang. Auntie tanyalah.

M: errrrr, hahahaha, Alyssa ni, itu sampah la Alyssa!(diverts from the topic) Auntie tipu je, April Fool!

A: (in confusion) ape tu apron foon?

M: April Fool la, itu sampah je Alyssa.

A: kenapa diorang ambil sampah tu?

M: sbb kat laut kan tak boleh buang sampah, kalau buang plastic-plastic tu, nanti turtle, ikan sama jellyfish makan macam mana?

A: kenapa turtle tak boleh makan plastic?

M: sbb nanti dia sakit, and dia takde doctor, jadi nanti dia mati. Macam Alyssa, kalau Alyssa makan plastic nanti perut sakit kan, haaaaa.

A: kenapa dia takde doctor?

M: sbb dia turtle.

A: apa tu turtle, ah auntie?

M: turtle tu macam ala, yang Alyssa tengok kat Nemo tu, yang ade ayah turtle and baby turtle tu, yang tolong bapak nemo and Dory. Yang macam Crush tu.

A: yang bapak dia tuh?

M: ahhh, yang bapak dia tu, diorang makan plastic sbb diorang ingatkan macam makanan diorang, macam jellyfish. Alyssa tau jellyfish?

A: (gives a blur face)

M: Jellyfish yang putih putih tu, Alyssa ingat tak masa bapak Nemo and Dory jump jump atas putih putih tu?

A: (nods head)

M: ah ah, yang tu la, benda yang ade zzzzzst(electrifying her)

A: kenapa dia zzzzzst Auntie?

M: jadi ikan semua tak boleh gerak. Bila diorang buat gitu, ikan tak boleh gerak, lepas tu jellyfish makan.

A: oh-(looks back to the picture)

A: (points at the picture) mana Nemo dalam ni?

M: Nemo dalam air tu.

A: bapak Nemo?

M: dalam tu jugak la.

A: Crush?

M: tuuuuu(points at the water)

A: ayah turtle?

M: dalam air tu la.

A: ibu Crush mana?

M: ibu turtle takde, dalam nemo kan takde ibu turtle.

A: bukan, bukan, yang uhmmmm, yang kawan Nemo tu.

M: Dory?

A: ah, Dory? Dory dalam air ke?

M: a'ah la, Dory pun dalam air swimming.

A: Kenapa Nemo tak keluar?

........it goes on and on and on till we finished the NST paper.

And she has a trademark. For everything least similar, she'd say "macam sama je...." belek belek the thing, "...tapi tak sama la kannnnn."

She likes to hit though.
Does domestic violence include child hitting Aunt?
Can I bring a cause of action?
HAHA, tort ppl, go figure, if there isn't any domestic violence as a law issue.

switch off.

2010-03-29T12:08:00.003+08:00

Earth Hour 27.03.2010

I supported, did you do something for Mother Earth today?

Pictures all taken with Olympus mju-1070.

My little niece, Alyssa, didn't say anything against no fan and no lights. She was in fact, happy that it was dark though a few mins before 9.45(we started out at 8.45) she was a tad scared.

But we cam whored the entire time, so no biggie. Should see the collection of her pictures in my cam, kalah i. haha, but well, auntie dia pun apa kurangnyaaaaa.

I, from today onwards, shall restrain from spending. To save ~~my ass~~ Mother Earth. HAHAHA.

been spending too much, i feel like not eating. I spent so much on just food, imagine that. Sigh. mana tak, hari2 mcD.

bankrupt laaaaa.

Oh yeah, Alyssa had a hair cut. She cut her hair by herself, and it was one side short, the other side long. She begged her mom to cut it for her. So yup, boyish hair cut. Thing is, when asked, she confidently said, nanti kan boleh tumbuhhhh. For a 2 year old turning 3, that's smart.

One time, I teased her, and she was pretty angry at me, so she sarcastically said, pandainye awak ni.

Gila lah, she's growing up too fast. Just 3 years ago she was so tiny, and eats a lot, with saliva spilling out. Now, da pandai cakap orang.

Okay nak tidur balik. Tired yaw.

nb: MRN and a few of my friends said that I have the switch syndrome. 1 minute i'll be laughing away, and the next i'll be frowning at things. Like a switch.

Eric, Azlan Iskandar, Hani.

2010-03-27T00:13:00.002+08:00

I need a new filter for my Sams.

Their gender is somehow irrelevant to me, I still call all of them Sam. Kalau nak manja I call em Sammie. Sounds like Sami but cool sikit.

so anyways. hehe. im blushing as i type btw. there's this awesomely cute dude i met today. jeng jeng jenggggg. nah i didn't go grab a drink w him or something, i was wearing my ring and yes, im bound. Offer, Acceptance, Consideration, Itclr=> contract. Though arguable there's no itclr. but still, let's say there is.

I am super mean for saying this. let's hope MRN tak baca sudah.

But, he was super cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.:DDD

MRN cuter(pujuk diri).

Ohmigod i can't stop smiling.

Oh, and there's Azlan Iskandar-National Squash Player.

Damn he's hot mannnn. I watched him play by accident. Jaw dropped. I saw Nicol David too, and boy, isn't she gorgeous off court.

Seriously, like hell she is. But she was wearing a cap, so can't see her forehead la kan.

I smell like Hani's milk formula. Damn, I just showered. Goodness, I am constantly tired nowadays. Kids la, but still I enjoy hehe.

Had hotcakes for the second time in a row. OH FUGGING SEDAP. maybe will have another tmrw. hahaha.

I need to clean my room now. Nights.

marriage. throws up.

2010-03-24T22:49:00.003+08:00

by Sam Blake

Okay, for the past few days, instead of Tort, I have been thinking about it. Marriage.

MRN said one time that at around 18-20, girls tend to feel lonely and would think about marriage, and the life after.

I said, nah, that isn't all true cause I admit, I am reluctant when it comes to the topic. Its too much for me to consume, and I am so young to think of that. I'm 21 this year(oh dammmmmit) and still considered young.

Maybe cause Ive been reading mommy blogs- SueAnnaJoe, LadyNoe and their mommeh friends, and that my friends are also infected by this disease. All the getting engaged planning to get married sort of thing.

Which is kinda cute seeing them. Thus the post today. Like dang, why am I talking bout marriage and stuff when I am still studying also I have no idea. It just hit me, like that.

And this is the very, very first time I thought of getting married and not be terrified completely. Reason why I am terrified is cause, well, I have this perception that I won't be satisfied if I get married. Like buying things, you buy a digital cam for example, and after hanging on with it through thick and thin, you realise that its features ain't that good and you buy another one-dslr.

And then after being so in love with this slr cam, you realise after a while that the lense could be better and then you get yourself another type or lense, or another slr-Nikon D5000.

Marriage is for, well, life. Like how Neytiri said it, 'we are mated for life'. I mean, as much as divorce holds its relevance, who'd want to go through that right? At that point in time, when you signed the papers, and listen to your husband say " aku terima nikah...", you wouldn't be thinking of divorce, would you?

Okay back to the whole marriage thing, without divorce. I do not deny, whilst getting hitched is something we all girls dream about, but I have my reluctance set back by the idea of getting crushed.

But then again(I have so many buts in this post), the idea of going on for a holiday with your husband(oh God geli bapak weih nak muntah betul tak tahan), spending time with the kids(Baby Blues comic alive), getting groceries, watching tv, run naked from toilet to room(I've always wondered how it would be like), and well cooking(MRN knows how to cook now, get ready tummy, you're gonna grow).

And the fact that I'll have my own custom made Alyssa and Hani, makes it ridiculously fun, I thought. And having a fat, aged guy sleeping next to me, snoring perhaps when I turn 40? Oh Goddddddd.

The kinda things that would be stuck in my head. More like a love/hate kinda thing, where 1 minute I go soppy and the other minute I'd throw up.

Which makes me wonder, would my future husband allow me to have a pet kitten? Would he help me with the households? Would he even let me shop? oh noooooooooooooo.

SO many things to think of, I'd rather study and finish up my studies, get a job and live happily ever after with my pet cat Gaby. And pet fishes, Sams. and perhaps a dog, borrowed from my neighbour next door.

I ramble aimlessly when I am thinking so yeah I think a lot since it's a topic before this, very alien to me. Every time asked when I'm gonna get married(by my friends, yeah they think far ahead), my head literally stops a second and spins for a while, like the thing you get before fainting, and I'd say whoa. Too much, babe. Too much.

See? The thing scares the f outta me. Goodness.

So people, stop asking me when. Ask me how.

finger to palm.

2010-03-23T22:38:00.003+08:00

I pray, so that one day, I don't have to ever be alone.
When that happens. neither will you.

I am, as much as you call it, a deaf when it comes to computers. I dislike the idea of listening to songs while surfing or fb-ing, cause it distracts me, it makes me wanna sing. And forget things that I am supposed to do. Like buy prepaid online. Or send e-mails.

But I have a great band to accompany these thoughts, the ones that float without wings for no reason or so, one that soothes my tired mind after a hard, demanding day.

Thank God for that.

The maid has gone off. Back to Indonesia. And I am left with the kids. No kidding. Really. For those who are wondering, the kids are alive, yes. I managed to single-handedly make them sleep. Not much of a problem when it comes to Alyssa, but Hani's a tough baby.

She is a light sleeper, or some sort like that.

Yeay Erna for making them sleep. Heh. As if it's a HUGE thing. And for showering them BOTH on her own. And for making their milk despite forgetting the oz. Heh.Guess sometimes, we gotta sacrifice kan.

Went out with the girls on Thursday. Twas Wanee's birthday, and we planned a surprise for her. Quite hard to do that, mainly cause our schedules clash like crap. But Alhamdulillah, it was done perfectly. Ain texted last min telling that she could make it and Shy brought the delicious cake. Yummeh.

And Wanee was so shockeddddd. Thank God she didn't notice that I was lying. I <3 all of themmmmmmm.

having a hard time figuring tort now, I think I missed tonnes. Sigh. I wish I can be better.

.
.
.
.
.
.

I miss cam whoring with you in the car, waiting for traffic. I miss watching you take our pictures claiming you can do them better but the pictures will turn out blur. I miss it when you'd stop at 7e to get me my milk. I miss your charming smile back during PPM, the times you spent on walking to the toilet. I miss your nose. Ngeh.

I wish I could walk my way there. I've always loved walking, cause that's the time I get to rest my feet to the ground, take each step carefully, observing the signal lights from each motor vehicle, watching for holes so that I don't trip. Doing all that, with headphones plugged to my ears, defeaning the sounds, and with everything becomes multiple distractions, I find time to think of you.

This feels/looks/sounds like a scene from Pride and Prejudice, what is wrong with mehhhh.

Okay, love, till we meet again.

walter bishop, call me.

2010-03-20T22:36:00.004+08:00

When you open new doors, there is a price to pay.
Now, imagine, tonight, you look under your bed and behold, you find a MONSTER
and you're immediately eaten.
Now, if you hadn't looked for the monster, you wouldn't have found it and you'd still be happy in your beds instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature.
But, with any luck, your sisters or your
brothers might have heard your screams and your endeavour will serve as a valuable lesson for them."

Walter Bishop, in Fringe-What lies below.
Saying all of this to KIDS.

short post.

2010-03-20T00:24:00.002+08:00

updates soon, so that every moment is captured in words before it fades away and i lupa.

k bye.

bare.it.all.

2010-03-15T15:47:00.002+08:00

tia woods, found here.

If only, things are as brilliantly simple and nice, there won't be clothes to complicate stuff.

I cannot wait for Thursday. At this pace, I am not too sure of what to do.

2010-03-15T02:17:00.001+08:00

Rough night.

Let's hope I don't end up killing myself.

disclaimer: I may exaggerate.

smashed glass.

2010-03-13T23:15:00.002+08:00

Too bad, I know you to well to identify traits of your lies.

See, lies can't be kept a secret. It always leaves a trace.

Too fucking bad, you weren't as forgiving as I was asked to teach you. You don't change. Thank God I have my sanity and ignorance to depend on, it made a whole lot of difference.

I know you, honey, too well.

A toast for something lost,
long forgotten,
and can't be erased.

2010-03-11T19:31:00.000+08:00

i.

am.

lost.

and.

confused.

12.02.

difference of resemblance, when I look at you.

2010-03-07T19:09:00.006+08:00

I have plenty to say, but none of the words would actually construe how/what I am feeling now.

I have abandoned writing for some time, like all humans, I have my mood swings. And last week was one of them. One of the days where you wanna float. Not touching the ground, not touching reality, not doing anything, just float.

Yesterday was the first day of revision, and boy am I not thrilled. Having to hear Mr. Ravi saying things like "there won't be much to expect from you" is very negative. Not good for us, seeing that exams are in 2 months time.

Sigh.

Somewhere in between replaying the class today and what's there for dinner, my mind falls back to a question I do not want to gravely contemplate upon. Some things I try very hard to avoid, but still my thoughts have gaps somewhere in between, and the very thought I try to avoid swiftly took its chance and slip in, to be a matter of contemplation.

Popping Daim into my mouth, I wish I was able to focus to tiny things like them instead of the revision that I myself have to work on, so that I don't fail. Failure, in this context is my failure to please my parents' expectations. Not an easy task, coz knowing them, high expectation is of their best virtue.

I thought I need time, I gave myself time, but it makes me more vulnerable than before. I cannot fathom the reason why, but I guess this time, it takes more than time to overcome my strands of emotions.

Likewise, it takes half the anticipation, for the mood swing to resolve, unfortunately for me, I don't have the energy to. Anticipation comes and goes, and it is difficult to fight whilst it is at peak.

All I can hope for now, is that I won't do stupid, unreasonable, unpredictable, unconscionable(that's a bit of land law there, haha), irrational,- yeah, you get the idea- things that as a homo sapien, I am most prone to do. Because by doing so, I would just attest that I am a no better than a victim of my own emotions.

However, 80% of the time, we tend to be irrational, and before we realise it, it would be too late.

And if it is too late, would I be given a second chance? Do I deserve a second chance though the possibility of reoccurring is high? Does the weight of my inexplicably foolish, senseless, brainless act matter in such a case?

Would you even consider me a second chance?

Depends. That is how we'd all put it, but really, it matters much on which side you are leaning towards.

Because the aftermath is a factor of our actions.

Because like a cake, it matters, the amount of baking powder you put in, the number of eggs, the type of flour you use; it matters.

If an aftermath could deter me from doing something, isn't it of my best interest to know?

I am confused, as you can see, on whether to let it be unanswered, or let myself be the victim of my own thoughts. Thing is, I don't necessarily would be the victim.

It might be you.

enjoy.

the girl in dull land.

2010-03-04T16:09:00.002+08:00

Puasa today.

I can't believe myself sometimes.

Deception Point is unfortunately boring. "The da Vinci Code will surface".
That's the code you have to break at the end of the book.

Sigh. Oh tommorrow. I hope it goes well.
Okay, I definitely have to get out from the house.
I've grown insane.

stupid masters, suffering slaves.

2010-03-02T17:00:00.002+08:00

i dislike ppl like you, who are mean. Granted, you were not cooked for, but that does not give you any right what so ever not to gobble burgers down your throat in front of her and telling her that coz she didn't cook for you, she can't have a frickin burger.

She is not your slave, bit*h.

You just lost my respect.

For. Good.

random 103, plus emo.

2010-03-02T00:58:00.002+08:00

You are my myth. I am your fool.

I stared into the empty spaces. Between you, between me. Rewriting my stories with Polaroid flashes. Perfect moments. The questions left unanswered. If only there really isn't any truth we live to seek. There would not be any answers to anything. A piece of paper and a pencil. The song comes, never ending. Green, goes well with blue. And the song too, with a pit less mind, I call mine. How could something so real become a mere dream? nothing less, nothing more than a fragment of my imagination. Colourful frames of life, did I grasp it just in time? Or was it left for me to have a hint of heaven's air? When in fact, I was indulging hell. The strings of guitar came to an end. But I was hardly there yet. Why was I travelling alone in the first place, I cannot remember why. Or maybe, my subconsciousness refused to breathe the reason why. I am in denial. My mind froze, its roots included. A pang, of realisation. It is a fact. How long have I known that? It is not the truth, but a fact. Threads, in my head. Twisting, undefined; Lost. Where did it start, where will it end, I do not know. But it is not in secret, it is out in the open. To stab the core, to stab the heart, to stab the pain. Will I find a rainbow at the end of the rain? It is a myth to believe. Likewise, so are you. You are no elixir. You are a myth. The myth I blindly chase after. But 1 day I'll see you as the wind. Untraceable. It would be a day, I'd write you not as a dreamer, but a fool. You are my myth, I am your fool.

Then, a new tune will be played, and a beginning will embark.

smile, but for what if you are faking it?

2010-03-01T19:34:00.002+08:00

pic taken whilst bustling into the kitchen, basuh periuk belanga, and running here and there during my brother's engagement. with Kieran Lai, my nephew.

missing home right this instance.

and oh yeah, i missed my land mocks today, maybe I'll go for the tort one tmrw but i am sooooo lazy to.

aiyoyoyoyoyo.

gonna sleep real soon, im going in the exam room unprepared. woohoo.

random 102.

2010-02-23T19:10:00.001+08:00

Ryan Seacrest surprises his mommy. So sweet okay.

Wishing somebody would do that now, don't you?

ang.pao!

2010-02-21T23:31:00.003+08:00

i got an ang pow.

#%&*%$#&!@

Lol, macam tak pernah dapat je.

beauty tips as you call it i guess.

2010-02-20T19:41:00.003+08:00

My aunt used to say, that you can get anything and everything out of the kitchen.

Well, obviously you can't get a Prada bag out of the kitchen, but you can definitely get better skin.

My aunt, who is now 62 this year, has a very healthy skin. During one of our conversations, she did tip me off with her beauty tips. Thought it would do some help by sharing, so here we go.

Mask:
One egg
One teaspoon of honey OR squeeze some lime juice(for some reasons, she mentioned limau kasturi)

With the egg, carefully separate the white egg and the yolk, coz we only use the white egg. Yolk will make your face bau hanyir. Mix the teaspoon of honey/ lime juice. Carefully dab the mixture on your face, please do not kena your eyes. Nanti buta i pulak yang kena.-_-"

Leave it for 20 minutes. Note: PLEASE DO NOT EXCEED 30 MINS, coz once i left it for 45 mins(i experiment quite a lot), and my face went yellow as in kuning langsat.)

Effect: Smooth, firm skin. Tested and proven.

Scrub water:
A bowl of Rice water.

Everytime you wanna cook rice for dinner, remember to do this. My mom taught me to at least wash(such a funny word to use) the rice 3 times. On the first wash, do not throw the water away, instead keep it for your own use.

Aunt said it is best used for your skin. So that it scrubs your face. Or something like that. You can also use it for other parts of your body, like your knee/elbow where it is of a darker shade of your skin.

Also, you can use it for plants. Quite effective if you ask me. I use this tip occassionally, and it is, tested and proven.

Effect: Smoother skin. Really.

Hair Serum(not really):
Milk.

Spray milk onto your hair roots. It makes your hair stronger. But, remember that the milk will leave your hair smelling milk-ish and by time, bau like basi like that. So be sure to shampoo it after. Light shampoo.

There are plenty of tips, but I can't think now, coz I can't remember the ingredients.

When I was younger, I love to experiment a lot. Like use this facial was add it with this other facial wash and this other wash and tada, my own facial wash.

Guess it helps me to know which is good for the skin and which isn't.

As for now, my favourite facial wash, till now, is Bio-essence Pine Pollen Deep Cleansing Wash. It successfully deters pimples ever since I used it. The only thing is, I guess coz it's made out of natural ingredients, it tends to get bad.

Like before I could finish it, it gets bad and pimples will start to appear/the wash itself exudes a smelly stench. But I still love love love it.

A must if you wanna have beautiful skin I would say. I've been promoting it like crazzzzehhhh. Haha.

And, to fight pimples, never burst it. Never.

Hope this has been informative much. I'll try to update if there are more stuff I suddenly remember or smtg like that.

I miss my aunt.

Hmmmm. She never failed to cook for me everytime I go to her house. And indeed, the best part of last year's raya was when I actually saved up just enough to give her some duit raya. She was half tearing, and so was I. She felt bad after that, but I insisted nonetheless. That's the least I could do after 20 years of love from Bedok North Road, Blk 428.

Can't wait for this thursday. Will be going back to Sg. And I will definitely be visiting her.

Oh yeah, the other person who has flawless skin other than my aunt is my mom herself. She has one of the most perfect skin, and her tip? Use normal soap!

Okay my nephews are kacauing me now. Gotta run.

thoughts.

2010-02-20T18:17:00.002+08:00

"There is no black and white, no right and wrong, no good and evil, no heaven and hell. It's all a matter of perspectives, what you choose to believe and what you choose not to believe."

Taken from Kwong Chiew Ee's facebook.

hey there.

2010-02-20T00:05:00.003+08:00

hearing it, was better than reading it in words.

(excuse the messy hair of yours truly)

The thing I hate most when I get sick is that I can be extremely manja after being sick. Like today. In need of attention la ni.

susahlah mau belajar if my hati kat Aussie. Haih. Money pun tak masuk so susah mau keluarrrr. Sigh.

On the path that brought me here,
Stains of spit,
Remains of gum,
Left by faceless ppl,
Decorations, they say,
As if its Christmas,
Oh hell, baby
The end is near,
The walls are closing,
Are we there yet?

Random that doesn't make sense coz Erna had too much of Atiyah.

current obsession: Lady Antebellum

2010-02-19T15:21:00.004+08:00

whilst studying(a very rare occurance), I fell in love with Lady Antebellum. It might be the perfect song to express what I'm thinking of, maybe coz he soooooo farrrrrr away from me, but there's something about Charles Kelley's sexy voice or Hillary Scott's beautiful voice, or Dave Haywood's playing the piano, or maybe the rhythm that goes so well, or the lyrics that made sense, it is just so beautiful to me.

Their other songs, like I Run To You, All We'd Ever Need are also fantastic too. But Need You Now, by far had me hooked all night long.

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk
and I need you now.
Well I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now

Need You Now, Lady Antebellum

cruchie munchie.

2010-02-18T16:41:00.004+08:00

mackerel, bicycle, wine, bullion, coal.

Translation:

Healey v Howlett, Carlos Federspiel v Charles twigg, Re London Wine Co (Shippers) Ltd and Re Stapylton Fletcher Ltd, Re Goldcorp, National Coal Board v Gamble.

uncndt.l appr.n: as per in Federspiel v Twigg, it is the intntn that is the parties have intended to attach the contract with the goods.

Heh. confusing sungguh s18r5 ini.

nak makan but there's no food in the house. Heh. Puasa sudah.

Thank you, muh sistah.

2010-02-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

for the past week, I've been hibernating. Yup, like a bear, I hibernate. The nose is seriously killing me. Right now, I am breathing with my right side of the nose, the left has this bubble inside that irritates like crazy and doesn't wanna pop.

Irritating I tell you. Sigh.

I haven't been updating for a while due to this flu/cold/cough mayhem, but a number(countable with just one hand) happened.

Firstly, my family visited me last weekend. It was fantastic seeing them altogether and my sister, who was in kl staying over at her friend's, dropped by.

So yeah, I managed to sit on the bed w mom and kakak, talking non-stop, gossip about ppl around us, do the "omg, she/he did not!" faces and laugh our heads off listening to dad snore.

And oh well, but the highlight was when kakak gave me a *gasp* beautiful Coach wristlet. Oh yeah baby.

I've spied on the collection once, when my cousin who recently got hitched brought it to our place. It was in shocking pink, and I was like, oh mommmehhhhhh.

So thanks to you, kakak, I have my first taste on Coach products. Heh. Now I'm gonna have to splurge on that. Sigh.

She, on the other hand, bought herself(maybe not with HER money,hehe) a Gucci bag. Which is about a couple thousand bucks.

Die laaaaaaaa. How to compare like this? hahaha.

Kakak stayed for a while though, then her friend(not so new) took her away. She showed off her brand new Coach shades too, which I was left in awe.

Sigh.

But anyway, thank you for such a lovely gift. I am keeping it safe and sound hahahaha.

Monday was dull and pathetic, like I said, I was sick and I woke up at about 2. Was tired and weak, ate plenty and missed my family lots.

Yday, I went to get Joe's pressie and I managed to get him one. I like it(okay maybe a little less compared to the other one) but I really do hope he likes it.
It costed me a bomb, but I really, really hope he likes it.

Dah la I had to go shopping while I was still sick, can you imagine how I sound like with a blocked nose? Each time I need to ask the salesgirl, I have to apologise for the squeaky, sengau sound that comes out from my mouth.

After popping Clarinase, I feel a tad better.

So anyway, studying always makes me fhungry, thus the food that took up most of the space on my table. I am on an Oreo frenzy, and most of the stuff I bought contains chocolate.

Habislah pimples.

Okay I gotta go study now, I still have s16 to go. SOGA, which means commercial which means, Godspeed.

bloo.

2010-02-15T00:55:00.000+08:00

waiting is just so tormenting.

waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

boo.):

dreams of me and you.

2010-02-13T14:42:00.003+08:00

i turned on the radio, Flyfm, and listening to their songs.

Then, I heard this familiar intro of a song I loved, Dreams by the Cranberries.

A bit different, but boy was I so simply psyched that Fly would play a Cranberries song other than Zombie.

I was so ready to sing the opening line, "Oh, my life.."

Then it turned out to be a Gong Xi Fa Cai song, which I have no idea how to translate, coz I was practically staring at the radio, mortified.

*pengsan*

why? why tarnish a good song? WHYYYYYYYY???

I want more impossible to ignore,
Impossible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.
You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You're everything to me.

dreams, Cranberries

bits of the song,
which made sense to me.

interaction.

2010-02-12T17:25:00.003+08:00

Dalila Hani and I.

For the past few weeks, I've been having trouble sleeping. My body clock has completely crashed. I have no idea why, and that doesn't explain the picture.

My maid took the picture. Random, coz ten mins ago, she was wide awake and I was taking pictures of her.

Yeah, but it was noon that time and I just woke up. So pardon me for looking extremely messy and blur.

And, I had to edit it coz I used VGA for the pictures, all in the camera's memory since the memory card went missing and I needed more space.

Pardon the bad edits too.

Anyway, I have been sick for the past few days, flu and cough and fever.

That is how I look like right now. My nose is like a running tap, unable to stop flowing. I look devastatingly horrid.

It's raining now, but I doubt it will be for long. Gonna take a cold, shivering shower to counter this warm, heaty body of mine.

webbie

2010-02-09T23:41:00.003+08:00

that was, ladies and gents, the first time ever we webcammed. after 3 years and a half being together. that was the first.

gila outdated kita ni.

anywho,

if it ain't love then I don't know what love is.taken by Nadzirah Azli.

The one holding E is him.

my herooooooo hahahahaha.

Loser la kau Erna.

imha.):

techie i loike.

2010-02-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

webbie with him.

gasp.laugh.omg.excited.

oh hell yeah.

fringe.

2010-02-09T01:09:00.004+08:00

after all this, how can you not say that Anna Torv is amazingly beautiful?

amazing blue electric eyes. flawless skin. blonde.

I'm falling in love.

aih, i now have another reason to go to aussie. She 's born there. yeappssss.

no no, i am not a lesbi, I just adore her face. fyi, there's a picture of joshua jackson too aka Peter Bishop.

Very charming guy, but I still adore Walter Bishop.

isn't he just adorable?

Anna Torv is, unfortunately married to Mark Valley. And rumours of her being preggers. Oh damn.

cliff hanging.

2010-02-07T18:32:00.003+08:00

Remember me telling how painful the menstrual cramp was?

I took 2 pills in the morning, right after I showered, popped another pink pill before lunch, popped an acti-fast panadol after lunch, and before the day ended, another menstrual.

It was THAT bad, and, it's already the second day! Not fair.

I thought it would only cramp me for one day aje but even now, the stomach's screamin' hell yeah crap.

I wasn't able to sleep last night, and so I started off a new project that involves much of my education. Charts, and authorities. Impromtu, actually all these things. But I hope it turns out well.

The day of class has been tiring.

I shall sleep now, coz I slept at 4 last night, revising SOGA '79.

So semangat like that but I can bet you, by CNY, still belum touch my books. Sakit perut la, sakit mata la, sakit bum bum la, sakit kaki la. Pening la, migraine la, panas la.

Hypnotise me so I can be a little bit more diligent w my studies.

Which reminds me, I am not pretty sure if this would sound boastful or ungrateful, I hope it won't be seen as either such way. A very hard working and smart friend of mine, when I asked a question on commercial law, looked at me and answered a great answer.

Whilst at it, he asked me questions, which, me being me, I wasn't able to answer, since I haven't revised. He dropped a comment, saying, "come on, Erna. You're a top ten student."

This isn't exactly the first encounter, MRN tegured me on that too. He asked me a question on contract law, and thankfully I was able to answer. nonetheless, the way he proded me for a correct answer (those who study law will know that there are 2 sides of the story. I choose to believe there is no truth nor lie, there is a belief, and there may be justice), he simply said, "come on sayang, top ten takkan cannot answer?"

This is, unfortunately causing a lot of distress for me.

like THAT stress. A good push but a fatal pressure. Expectations aren't my best virtue. However much, I would be glad to help if it makes things easier, but if I am unable to, forgive this humble person, I have lots to learn things from ppl around me.

Insyaallah, I will try, however hard it may be.

Okay nak tido

So tired and penat.

102, and yet unproductive much.

2010-02-06T18:29:00.003+08:00

This is my 102nd post, including those which I decided not to publish. Quite stuffy kan? Maybe it is time to reread them and delete them. But nanti menyesal pulak.

I woke up to a type of pain I vaguely remember. The last time my period pain was this bad was months ago. This pain, this time is too much. But thank God for Panadol Menstrual.

Popped a few and 2 hours later I was sleeping.

Thank God.

I have yet to kemas my bilik, and to be honest, it is in a mess. Nasty. I will do it by tonight, prolly after a few pages of Commercial.

So today is an unproductive day. Mainly sleeping, blogging, blog-hop, reading, and yeap, erna's being really unhealthy. I woke up and ate remains of my niece's ice cream. Went up and snored, and only ate lunch at 5.

Now that, is really unhealthy. If you could see me now, my face is pale white and ghostly.

And yeah, I stumbled upon an old fren's blog. I shall link soon.

my cramp's back. I gotta go moan my heart's out, excuse mua.

all love in the world.

2010-02-06T02:10:00.005+08:00

Disebabkan font baru tak dapat nak express :D seperti orang yang gembira tunjukkan gigi, I thought of getting my own emoticons.

Ezzi's blog dulu2, had emoticons too. But that time, my :D takde la cacat sgt, but tgk lah now, so the very cacat.

it looks as if out of nowhere i accidentally type capital d like D. padahal its suppose to be erna tunjukkan gigi yang jongang. Pfffft.

So now, I can gleefully smile with my happy smiles.

Amacam? this one punya gigi tak jongang, okay? hahaha.

Okay Erna sila tidur kau tu sakit kepala nanti jadi macam orang sakit kaler hijau tu.

Okay goodnight.

revamped.

2010-02-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

yes, it took me three hours to revamp the blog.

spur of a moment kinda thing, I obviously did not wake up to this.

I am quite unhealthy nowadays, skipping breakkie, eating too much dinner, eating junk food.

which reminds me, I so definitely gotta study tonight, gotta pay back my trust class that I am missing now. Like now uh huh. Friends texted me like in the afternoon( i just woke up, yeah yeah anak dara yeah yeah) telling me there's a night class tonight and I said nope.

My body's starting to fail me, I was attacked by insomia last night, sleeping at three for the past week, and trust me, it ain't healthy.

I have successfully updated the blog today, practically over-dosing this poor abandoned blog for a while.

I have, decided in a way to open this blog for more so called writings or rather scribbles of mine. Normally, my itchy fingers would start writing all over my notes, sometimes, it gets too annoying when I try to read back stuff.

And other times, I tend to write it on my friends' notes(huge capital letters), and thus I would lose the short poem/thought/hints of reality.

Which is pretty sad to see my stuff going to the bin, kan?

So yeah, maybe I'll put it up.

And to be a diligent student, I figured, I'd make effort to post law related stuff. Thgs I find amusing. hehe.

I dig my new layout yaw. haha

My dreams yday was about him. He gave me smtg, and I wore it day to day. I was surprised, and I was happy. I realise that on many occassions, I dream about him when smtg's wrong. Either he is too happy or nervous or sad.

Mostly when he's nervous. So yeah, I guess it's true when they say, we dream of ppl who wants us to dream of them.

Okay now migraine is kicking in. Too much comp!

tire.

2010-02-05T17:38:00.001+08:00

i am *hic* having some *hic* nasty and stu *hic* -pid hiccups.

hdsahkush@#%%^@

i hate the stupid *hic* hiccups.

untitled.

2010-02-05T15:06:00.003+08:00

i'm eating love letters.

no, not the paper love letter, the chocolate love letter from julie's. only that it's not from julie's. it's from carrefour.

There are so many ppl downstairs, I had to escape coz the kids can drive me insane. Alyssa has this over possessive kinda thing, so you guessed it right, she hates it if I pay attention to other kids. She'd either interrupt us or kick the other kid.

That always happens to Hani.

Kesian my poor baby.

Canberra baby, I will be praying.:D